Going on a trip with DA Partner | Jeb Kinnison Attachment Type Forum

deirdrelost
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Going on a trip with DA Partner Feb 2, 2020 5:50:22 GMT

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Post by deirdrelost on Feb 2, 2020 5:50:22 GMT

Hi there! Long time lurker, first time posting.

Anyways, so my partner and I are going on an overseas trip together in 5 months but I am unsure about it now. Mostly because I don't know if we can make it that far without me pushing for more commitment from him. I am an AP and he's a DA. We've been on and off for about 2 years now. I recently only just met one of his cousins and that cousin called me his girlfriend which gave me a little bit of reassurance but I'm still insecure about not meeting his kid, his mom and siblings. My issue is that the closer we get to this trip the more I am going to want to meet his kid and family. I've traveled solo internationally many times but I've never traveled with a man I'm dating so this is a very big deal to me. As the trip gets closer, I would like to be able to say that I am going with my boyfriend. He's never traveled internationally before so I also wonder what he's going to tell his family like if he's going with a friend or girlfriend? I guess my question is if this is a big deal to him as well? Would a DA agree to travel with a partner internationally if they weren't somewhat committed to them? Especially if the trip isn't months from now?

Last Edit: Feb 2, 2020 5:52:40 GMT by deirdrelost

Me
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Going on a trip with DA Partner Feb 2, 2020 11:15:43 GMT via mobile serenity likes this

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Post by Me on Feb 2, 2020 11:15:43 GMT

I think a holiday is probably a big step for a DA so that's good but I dont think he would call you his girlfriend or introduce you to his family just before because that would be a lot of huge steps all at once . Maybe after in a little bit of time .

Another thing is be aware that his deactivating strategies may get worse during or after . I went away with my partner and it was awful . His behaviour was way worse than normal . I almost left and got on a flight home . I have a rule we never again go away together

lindasofie
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Going on a trip with DA Partner Feb 13, 2020 12:22:56 GMT serenity likes this

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Post by lindasofie on Feb 13, 2020 12:22:56 GMT

Hello:) I travelled with my DA boyfriend last year. Him and me, plus my sister and a mutual friend of us. First of all it started with some arguments because he didn't want to share room with me - too much closeness, he said. He ended up spending the night in my room a few times, but he didn't want us to actually share room.
He'd also never travelled with a girlfriend / someone he was dating, and he hasn't been in any more or less serious relationships, so just going away was a huge step for him. But I could tell he was pretty uncomfortable all the way, and after two days he started acting weird. I sensed something was off, and he eventually said he was unsure of us, where things were going, he wanted freedom, he didn't want exclusivity anymore and if I still wanted to be with him, I would do so knowing I couldn't trust him only seeing me.
He the acted as nothing happened and told me to cheer up because of the other two.
During that week we eventually talked things through, and he said he didn't really mean the stuff he just told me, but being together for so many days pushed his buttons and he couldn't handle the closeness.
But still he needed to take a break from us when we got back home, to figure out what he wanted. The break was a success, by the way, and things are going pretty well now. We're planning a new trip in October - don't think he's that excited about it because it's just the two of us;)

I with you the best of luck, and my advice is to give him lots of space before you leave. And stay active and do stuff while you're there. I'll keep my expectations low regarding our next trip!