Post by rick on Feb 7, 2020 22:42:55 GMT
My name is Rick and I'm 33 years old. I started dating this girl about 5 months ago. Things started out amazing between us. We talked for hours on end every night for the first 3 months. We would hangout 3 times a week and when we weren't together she was calling me. A deep love and connection was developed through this time. Cori my Girlfriend, would sometimes say some things that almost seemed liked she was warning me about herself. Saying things like I shut down in my past marriage. Past boyfriends have left me because they said that I didn't care. My Mom and Dad Don't sleep together and sometimes go on vacations alone. I overlooked these things because she showed no signs of holding back emotion and seemed like she cared greatly about me and our relationship. Her ex husband and her had a daughter together. Her name is Lilly and she is 2 1/2. Her ex husband always used their daughter as a way to control Cori. She was always in fear that if she didn't do what her ex would say, then he would take their daughter away from her. So she almost always seemed to do what her ex said.
Well, everything was going great for the first 3 months. I work on the road at times and came home from Christmas to be with Cori and my Family. We had planned to go to my Dad's together for Christmas. She let her ex know so she could have her kid on Christmas Day and go with me on Christmas Eve.I woke up on Christmas Eve 2 hours before we we're going to leave to my Dads and she woke me up looking concerned. She told me that her ex's parents had came up to his house unexpectedly and that she had to go with Christmas with her Ex for their daughter. Said that she feared that him and his parents would play games if she didn't. I couldn't believe this was happening to me, just seemed so strange. I broke up with her and left to go to my Dad's... that was rough. She told me she was so sorry and felt really bad. That I was good for her and she loved me and wanted to be with me. She wanted to meet and talk.I know her ex planned this to try and ruin are relationship, she knew it too. I had to leave for work (on the road) and didn't have much time, so I met with her to talk.When I met with her she broke down crying and said she was ready to give up inside. That her ex told her that he didn't want any other men in their daughters life. She still wanted to be with me. I told her I would if she could promise that she wouldn't let a situation like that happen again. She couldn't though, she knew he would pull something like that again and she would go along with it. I had to fly out early the next morning. I went back and forth with her a couple times, saying I would be with her and then changing my mind. I didn't want to have to leave her, but felt so disrespected. At the airport the next morning, I told her that I wanted it to work and would do whatever to make it work. She said that maybe it wasn't fair to me the way things were and she maybe shouldn't be dating. I told her it's ok and we'll work it out. She said ok and we would work through it. Well, she started to not call, which was strange because she always called. I responded by calling her over and over. The separation anxiety was horrible. I knew something was up and she wasn't returning my calls.Eventually we talked and she said that she was doing this because she was scared and feared rejection. That she was sorry and we would talk more. I was on the road for three weeks and she continued to pull away. I returned and we got together. She seemed like a completely different person. She was closed off emotionally and showed no empathy at all. It was like you were talking to her, but she wasn't there. This kept up for a bit and she continued to be shut down. I ended up breaking up with her and told her that she treated me badly so I had to go. A week went by I was trying to talk to her to reconnect again because I missed her. She wouldn't respond, so I Thanked her for all of the good times and siad goodbye. She instantly texted back saying that she wanted to talk. She called me that night and said that she shut down and that it has never been that bad before. That every time she does it it gets worse. She apologized multiple times and we got back together. Well It's been 2 1/2 weeks now and I've still yet to see her. We've made plans multiple times and she always cancels and says its because of her work or her daughter. I try to talk to her about it but she seems to stonewall me or says we always talk serious. She calls me multiple times a week and tells me she loves me, but never let's me see her. I told her that it hurts me and I would really like to spend some time with her. So she said sorry and promised we would hang out. Something came up with her work again and that got canceled. She really does work all week and has her daughter all weekend. She doesn't get the alone time she needs to re-charge and is not coping with it well. She doesn't know how to cope with life and gets overwhelmed easily. She pushes all her feelings way down so she doesn't feel them and often doesn't know what she is really feeling. I don't know what to do at this point. How do I play this out where I can get through to her and see her? I fear I can't tell her how I really feel because she will stonewall me or pull away her emotions even more. What's the best way to handle this situation?
Well, everything was going great for the first 3 months. I work on the road at times and came home from Christmas to be with Cori and my Family. We had planned to go to my Dad's together for Christmas. She let her ex know so she could have her kid on Christmas Day and go with me on Christmas Eve.I woke up on Christmas Eve 2 hours before we we're going to leave to my Dads and she woke me up looking concerned. She told me that her ex's parents had came up to his house unexpectedly and that she had to go with Christmas with her Ex for their daughter. Said that she feared that him and his parents would play games if she didn't. I couldn't believe this was happening to me, just seemed so strange. I broke up with her and left to go to my Dad's... that was rough. She told me she was so sorry and felt really bad. That I was good for her and she loved me and wanted to be with me. She wanted to meet and talk.I know her ex planned this to try and ruin are relationship, she knew it too. I had to leave for work (on the road) and didn't have much time, so I met with her to talk.When I met with her she broke down crying and said she was ready to give up inside. That her ex told her that he didn't want any other men in their daughters life. She still wanted to be with me. I told her I would if she could promise that she wouldn't let a situation like that happen again. She couldn't though, she knew he would pull something like that again and she would go along with it. I had to fly out early the next morning. I went back and forth with her a couple times, saying I would be with her and then changing my mind. I didn't want to have to leave her, but felt so disrespected. At the airport the next morning, I told her that I wanted it to work and would do whatever to make it work. She said that maybe it wasn't fair to me the way things were and she maybe shouldn't be dating. I told her it's ok and we'll work it out. She said ok and we would work through it. Well, she started to not call, which was strange because she always called. I responded by calling her over and over. The separation anxiety was horrible. I knew something was up and she wasn't returning my calls.Eventually we talked and she said that she was doing this because she was scared and feared rejection. That she was sorry and we would talk more. I was on the road for three weeks and she continued to pull away. I returned and we got together. She seemed like a completely different person. She was closed off emotionally and showed no empathy at all. It was like you were talking to her, but she wasn't there. This kept up for a bit and she continued to be shut down. I ended up breaking up with her and told her that she treated me badly so I had to go. A week went by I was trying to talk to her to reconnect again because I missed her. She wouldn't respond, so I Thanked her for all of the good times and siad goodbye. She instantly texted back saying that she wanted to talk. She called me that night and said that she shut down and that it has never been that bad before. That every time she does it it gets worse. She apologized multiple times and we got back together. Well It's been 2 1/2 weeks now and I've still yet to see her. We've made plans multiple times and she always cancels and says its because of her work or her daughter. I try to talk to her about it but she seems to stonewall me or says we always talk serious. She calls me multiple times a week and tells me she loves me, but never let's me see her. I told her that it hurts me and I would really like to spend some time with her. So she said sorry and promised we would hang out. Something came up with her work again and that got canceled. She really does work all week and has her daughter all weekend. She doesn't get the alone time she needs to re-charge and is not coping with it well. She doesn't know how to cope with life and gets overwhelmed easily. She pushes all her feelings way down so she doesn't feel them and often doesn't know what she is really feeling. I don't know what to do at this point. How do I play this out where I can get through to her and see her? I fear I can't tell her how I really feel because she will stonewall me or pull away her emotions even more. What's the best way to handle this situation?