Post by ocarina on Feb 16, 2020 19:30:52 GMT
Hello caro
I think that being able to be real in terms of expressing needs, hurts, emotions, things your partner may not want to hear - and crucially them being able to listen and really be there - to be open and supportive during these frank conversations, is key. For a relationship to be sustainable a partner needs to be a soft place to land - to be truly available to hear what you need to say and to be capable of being responsive to you. This is why relationships with partners who are emotionally injured are such a struggle - because it becomes less than safe to really be open and honest.
This is real life - emotions are true and real and natural - it's ok to be whoever you are and his reaction is not your responsibility. Life is full of difficult conversations - can you ask yourself if he can be there for you - be emotionally responsive and available - and most importantly can you be there for him too without needing to edit yourself to control his reaction? Difficult tightrope walking much easier to see from the outside of a relationship.
During relationships where I have been uncertain it has been difficult to ask - and I blamed it on myself but in reality looking back, this was often because I was rightly not sure if my partner would be receptive and responsive to my needs after many many episodes of inconsistency.
I think that being able to be real in terms of expressing needs, hurts, emotions, things your partner may not want to hear - and crucially them being able to listen and really be there - to be open and supportive during these frank conversations, is key. For a relationship to be sustainable a partner needs to be a soft place to land - to be truly available to hear what you need to say and to be capable of being responsive to you. This is why relationships with partners who are emotionally injured are such a struggle - because it becomes less than safe to really be open and honest.
This is real life - emotions are true and real and natural - it's ok to be whoever you are and his reaction is not your responsibility. Life is full of difficult conversations - can you ask yourself if he can be there for you - be emotionally responsive and available - and most importantly can you be there for him too without needing to edit yourself to control his reaction? Difficult tightrope walking much easier to see from the outside of a relationship.
During relationships where I have been uncertain it has been difficult to ask - and I blamed it on myself but in reality looking back, this was often because I was rightly not sure if my partner would be receptive and responsive to my needs after many many episodes of inconsistency.
