I do think this is due to the intermittent reenforcement. That’ll be a bitch to shake. Combined with the gaslighting. It’ll cause you to wonder a lot of things. Including your sanity.
In the end it really doesn’t matter. The lens they are looking out at the world isn’t healthy, and their opinion of you will be more about them than not. Think of the lack of vulnerability shared. It’s a pseudo relationship.
I think part of the drug is to be fondly thought of, so that the dance may continue. I know I wouldn’t mind a solid reach out. But that’s pretty broken thinking on my part. I think everyone struggles at times with leaving the past in the past.
I also think a lot of this is about your own self esteem. Which isn’t surprising in the ap side, unfortunately. A person who is confident in who they are, would t give a crap. I’m working my way there... for sure. But it’s hard.
Gah...it is incredibly hard to break...there is this whole mindset that the glimmers of good times I had with B and all the time with the new girl. That he is not playing at the same push, pull with her because he chose her etc. I have never had any focus on someone I once dated last as long as this has. Which I guess speaks to just how addicted to him I became. I still love him...I really, really do....so there is such a desire for contact.