Post by pw34 on Feb 29, 2020 21:48:19 GMT
Hey anyone...everyone..
long story short, I've covered a fair amount of psychology and i'm even doing my degree in it! But.. that's not helped me much with my partner. She is definitely a dismissive-avoidant attachment.
She appeared to be fine last year and then she fell pregnant. Since she's been pregnant, she's begun to stonewall me. Shutting off and tells me I have done nothing to support her or help her since she's been pregnant. I've been doing everything I can. Its now got to the point where she has kicked me out for the second time and i'm now having to look at moving into another place.
I've only been living with her for the last month or two and leading up to this she was demanding and adamant that I should move in with her. So.. this is where it gets weird. She started to tell me when I'd moved in and she found she was pregnant-yay, the baby was planned and we was happy.
All of a sudden.. she's telling me that I don't cuddle her enough, then when I attempt to cuddle her she tells me i'm too close. If I try and discuss this with her she either blows up on me and claims this is all my fault or she just stone walls me.
I can't do right from wrong. No matter what she asks, I do it and I give it to her. She wouldn't let me go to the baby scan and then blew up and claimed I deliberately missed it and I didn't make the effort even though she told me outright not to show up.
I'm so lost in limbo, its led me to some really dark places as of late and its begun effecting me massively. I've started to feel suicidal at points and I've sobbed my eyes out - even infront of her.. this was just met by her being more distant.
We was together over a decade ago and she was the same then.
She told me she had changed. Ironically.. I learned about attachment at uni a week or two ago as I was going through this.
I just need to know... is there anyway around this.. am I likely to end up on the floor completely emotionally exhausted or am I best off doing the one thing I don't want to do - leaving her.
I don't want to leave her. This is killing me, I don't understand what she wants and when I challenge this to her she just says I should know her well enough to know what she wants and she isn't going to tell me.
She attempts to 'punish' me with stonewalling, not repeating things she's said that haven't been heard and she even refused to let me see the scan photo of my child because she said I didn't show up to the scan - despite her telling me outright I shouldn't show up.
long story short, I've covered a fair amount of psychology and i'm even doing my degree in it! But.. that's not helped me much with my partner. She is definitely a dismissive-avoidant attachment.
She appeared to be fine last year and then she fell pregnant. Since she's been pregnant, she's begun to stonewall me. Shutting off and tells me I have done nothing to support her or help her since she's been pregnant. I've been doing everything I can. Its now got to the point where she has kicked me out for the second time and i'm now having to look at moving into another place.
I've only been living with her for the last month or two and leading up to this she was demanding and adamant that I should move in with her. So.. this is where it gets weird. She started to tell me when I'd moved in and she found she was pregnant-yay, the baby was planned and we was happy.
All of a sudden.. she's telling me that I don't cuddle her enough, then when I attempt to cuddle her she tells me i'm too close. If I try and discuss this with her she either blows up on me and claims this is all my fault or she just stone walls me.
I can't do right from wrong. No matter what she asks, I do it and I give it to her. She wouldn't let me go to the baby scan and then blew up and claimed I deliberately missed it and I didn't make the effort even though she told me outright not to show up.
I'm so lost in limbo, its led me to some really dark places as of late and its begun effecting me massively. I've started to feel suicidal at points and I've sobbed my eyes out - even infront of her.. this was just met by her being more distant.
We was together over a decade ago and she was the same then.
She told me she had changed. Ironically.. I learned about attachment at uni a week or two ago as I was going through this.
I just need to know... is there anyway around this.. am I likely to end up on the floor completely emotionally exhausted or am I best off doing the one thing I don't want to do - leaving her.
I don't want to leave her. This is killing me, I don't understand what she wants and when I challenge this to her she just says I should know her well enough to know what she wants and she isn't going to tell me.
She attempts to 'punish' me with stonewalling, not repeating things she's said that haven't been heard and she even refused to let me see the scan photo of my child because she said I didn't show up to the scan - despite her telling me outright I shouldn't show up.