A TRUE DA WON'T ATTACH, IF YOU CATCH ON THEY GET RID OF YOU?

Looking back on someone I dated who I think is DA/NARCACISM the pattern is clear - hook guys with sex and coming on strong.

Once a certain level of emotional intimacy was reached or attachment on either end, the distancing began and then waits for the person to get fed up and when they do she tells them she’s done.

She then moves onto the next less demanding guy she has hooked and the cycle repeats.

Prior to things progressing (valentines day, meeting family etc) I was the 'most amazing person' ever. 



Signs she is DA

Came on SUPER STRONG.

Emotionless Sex

Lots of Sex

Treated me like her boyfriend, yet after 5 months when i tried to discuss what we were doing she would try deflect, postpone the chat or not reply and then withdraw after.

Picked out faults in me. - The ways I eat, dress, take photos of myself for insta (yet she is constantly on her phone taking selfies).

Using small things I'd done and blowing them up as huuuge deals, then withdrawing for a few days.

Saw other people on the side and tried to hide it. (These people aren't even people she would date or find attractive). A clear DA distancing move to bring insecurity to the relationship.

Never was allowed at her house.

Whenever we spoke about feelings or what we liked about each other, she would say "Everything", and I'd be liked, 'yeah but like what' and she'd say "Everything", with a blank glazed look.

When i calmly tried to get clarification of why she was distant and said I need more from her, she would say 'well leave then!' with little emotion beside passive aggressiveness. (DA's don't attach, so detaching is easy for her).

She grew up without a dad, and had an overbearing enmeshed mother.



KEY POINTS


One thing I've discovered is that if you catch onto what they're doing you are now a threat and they will harshly discard you. If you are clueless and trusting they will continue to use you up. 

A true DA won't attach and will walk away easily, a DA/FA knows what love is, therefore will somewhat attach yet keep their distance.



THIS GIRL DID NOT ATTATCH AT ALL AND WILL REPEAT THE CYCLE AGAIN AND AGAIN.

IF THEY ARE PURE DA WITH NO FA/SECURE OR ANXIOUS, RUN RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!!



Am I correct in that a DA/FA will attach to some extent where as a pure DA will be cold as ice, aloof and emotionally unavailable? This girl was way different to my ex DA/FA who was not as cold and aloof. 

Thoughts?