Angry

What worries me is that he was condescending to you about where you live that is a big red flag to me .

It is disrespectful and in my experience if someone starts out like that it only gets worse until they are talking down to you about any little thing .

That's what some unavailable people and emotional abusers do . They put you down in small ways so that they can make you feel less than them so that they have the control and power and because it's so subtle it makes you feel like you are overreacting . They know exactly what they are doing q

Thank you alexandra. I'm not trying to emotionally connect with him anymore. I wrote this post after having a scheduled phone call for his birthday, which really triggered me and put me in this angry state. I thought that talking would be a nice distraction from the isolation but it was totally the opposite. It definitely says something that every time we've been in contact lately I get upset. Writing the post helped clarify that I need to permanently distance myself from him (and reminded me I am much better off not dating him).

I am doing my best to connect with friends and my work will start up again next week (I have been on break for 2 weeks, which has made the isolation more intense). Honestly I am an introvert and I don't have a robust friend group, so the zoom happy hours, etc. I keep hearing about are making me feel sad. I'm brainstorming about possible groups I can schedule events with though. Right now I'm connecting with friends individually via text. Will try to figure out other options moving forward though. Thanks for your comment.

Hey, I went through this before. I live in a town where quite a few people who work remotely come and stay but they have a lifestyle where they move every 4-6 months or so. And some of these guys are always talking about 'dating locals' and don't have an intention for a long term relationship. Decent ones will be upfront about it, that they aren't here long term but notice the less decent ones will lie about it. 

I have experienced this before, this anger. I think when I feel angry about someone, it is my inner child that feels wrong or a certain injustice of treatment towards her, or some kind of betrayal. So I would honor this anger. I had this guy, just a friend, but sometimes he flirts with me, he would just bash the place I was living in, knowing that I didn't have a choice to leave. It left me feeling so awful, so abandoned. Like he could leave, and I had to hear all this ugly criticisms about the people in my town knowing I have to be there. It was just awful to hear as an anxious. Honestly, I think a sensitive good friend or person wouldn't do that? Even if they really disliked the city, I think they would frame it to speak from their experience and if they were a really nice person, to keep it to themselves.

You are RIGHT for feeling angry at him. It just sounds like he was lonely or whatever and needed the comfort of a short term date/relationship and having someone to listen to his rants? And now you're left alone while he's off trailing a new city that he likes. Guys who move around and have that kind of lifestyle has intimacy and commitment issues. All your feelings are validated! I hope you feel better. PM me if whenever you feel lonely or just need a listening ear.