Post by madeline on Aug 31, 2017 19:14:57 GMT
Unsure of the type. but I'm trying so hard to understand and reach closure.
Okay sooooo
Two years ago, I met this guy who we can call J. J was a really big player and I knew it, I was only 19 at the time and well I hung out with him a lot as a friend, he had a girlfriend, and I felt like I really did genuinely like him as a friend. One night we went clubbing and he made out with me, it was my first kiss and at the time as a super naive girl I just started to gain feelings for him.
He and his girlfriend broke up a month later and I confessed my feelings to him that same day (lol) yeah... he basically said he wanted to keep hanging out but was unable to return the feelings at the moment. I understood completely and was okay to just be friends. But he became really kinda.. mean, sort of lying to avoid spending time with me, I knew he was also going on dates with other girls etc. but still sometimes throwing me a bone to keep me around.
We went clubbing again and well yeah we made out and fought, it was very "dramatic" as he was like crying and yelling at me about how I shouldn't like him.. he was mad also that I was a virgin I guess he was all like "what do we even do together?? do you want me to rape you is that what you want???"
SO finally I mean that crossed the line so I did cut him out, block him, and eventually started dating someone else in a couple of weeks . However my boyfriend was friends with this guy also... and then he became mean in a whole new way, like a jealous way.
I still kept my boundaries and didn't contact him and didn't really engage with him in a friendship- by the time me and my boyfriend broke up I assumed I would never have to interact with this guy ever again.
Didn't think about him much.
OKAY so he is Korean and doing mandatory service in the korean military atm. about two months I received a 6 page apology letter from a mutual friend that he had written during his service. it had been two years and well.. I really didn't think about him much so I was fine to be friends
however as we started messaging more often, almost every day, he said his feelings for me were really strong, he said he had changed. he said back then he rejected me due to the "fear of falling in love with someone as pure and amazing as me" etc. etc.
I was actually visiting my friend in seoul coincidently the same time that he was on leave and we only had two days to see each other
I said it was okay to meet, but I was so nervous I mean, I felt really vulnerable and the J I knew before... was so mean...
he swore I wouldn't get hurt this time.
but then when we met he kept being sweet to me the entire two days... telling me how much he liked me and everything
then when it was time to go home the second day i was happy we could finally spend time together without his friends, and was like "so we can go home now ?" he was just "no you aren't coming home with me anymore."
I was super confused because he had been kissing me, holding my hand, everything until that moment....
he said he "ed up" and realised his feelings for me were not genuine
and then yeah
just like that I was alone crying on the street in an unfamiliar city by myself
Im so hurt and confused
I feel so stupid.
Sorry for this choppy post I hope it makes sense
Okay sooooo
Two years ago, I met this guy who we can call J. J was a really big player and I knew it, I was only 19 at the time and well I hung out with him a lot as a friend, he had a girlfriend, and I felt like I really did genuinely like him as a friend. One night we went clubbing and he made out with me, it was my first kiss and at the time as a super naive girl I just started to gain feelings for him.
He and his girlfriend broke up a month later and I confessed my feelings to him that same day (lol) yeah... he basically said he wanted to keep hanging out but was unable to return the feelings at the moment. I understood completely and was okay to just be friends. But he became really kinda.. mean, sort of lying to avoid spending time with me, I knew he was also going on dates with other girls etc. but still sometimes throwing me a bone to keep me around.
We went clubbing again and well yeah we made out and fought, it was very "dramatic" as he was like crying and yelling at me about how I shouldn't like him.. he was mad also that I was a virgin I guess he was all like "what do we even do together?? do you want me to rape you is that what you want???"
SO finally I mean that crossed the line so I did cut him out, block him, and eventually started dating someone else in a couple of weeks . However my boyfriend was friends with this guy also... and then he became mean in a whole new way, like a jealous way.
I still kept my boundaries and didn't contact him and didn't really engage with him in a friendship- by the time me and my boyfriend broke up I assumed I would never have to interact with this guy ever again.
Didn't think about him much.
OKAY so he is Korean and doing mandatory service in the korean military atm. about two months I received a 6 page apology letter from a mutual friend that he had written during his service. it had been two years and well.. I really didn't think about him much so I was fine to be friends
however as we started messaging more often, almost every day, he said his feelings for me were really strong, he said he had changed. he said back then he rejected me due to the "fear of falling in love with someone as pure and amazing as me" etc. etc.
I was actually visiting my friend in seoul coincidently the same time that he was on leave and we only had two days to see each other
I said it was okay to meet, but I was so nervous I mean, I felt really vulnerable and the J I knew before... was so mean...
he swore I wouldn't get hurt this time.
but then when we met he kept being sweet to me the entire two days... telling me how much he liked me and everything
then when it was time to go home the second day i was happy we could finally spend time together without his friends, and was like "so we can go home now ?" he was just "no you aren't coming home with me anymore."
I was super confused because he had been kissing me, holding my hand, everything until that moment....
he said he "ed up" and realised his feelings for me were not genuine
and then yeah
just like that I was alone crying on the street in an unfamiliar city by myself
Im so hurt and confused
I feel so stupid.
Sorry for this choppy post I hope it makes sense
