I'm in the middle of reading "The Body Keeps Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, and it is an excellent book for those of you who haven't read it. I highly recommend it.
Two of the things that have stuck out to me the most have been the following:
"In other words: If an organism is stuck in survival mode, its energies are focused on fighting off unseen enemies, which leaves no room for nurture, care, and love. For us humans, it means that as long as the mind is defending itself against invisible assaults, our closest bonds are threatened, along with our ability to imagine, plan, play, learn, and pay attention to other people's needs."
And the concept that: APs are all about: feeling without action Avoidants: action without feeling FAs: stuck in fear
I've been wanting to get this book to read and once again another great review for it. I am a Secure however my husband is DA with much unresolved trauma, of which he has little insight, however I do what I am able to gently reveal to him the ways in which his body does keep the score of serious past traumas. Outcomes do not lie and our bodies not only keep the score, but reveal truths for anyone who can discern it plain to see.