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Post by BecomingMe on May 2, 2020 10:32:33 GMT
I think with time being heavy on everyone's hands, people are doing a lot of self work  . I had reached out to an ex in Feb(way before this had started) to see if I could work things out with him. But, once the lockdown was properly under way(mid/end of March), his texts got sporadic and I realised his distancing was triggering me like crazy. I ended up sending him this super long text where I was very vulnerable. Sort of like a "let the cards fall where they may" act. He responded in a kind way but I sort of understood there was nothing left there. But I decided not talk/extend the communication to establish friendship because I was still attracted to him. He hasn't texted me either. It's been a month. I stay alone and decided I needed to do everything to protect and preserve my mental health now. |
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Post by annieb on May 2, 2020 17:21:14 GMT
Two of my major exes both reached out within a few weeks since the lockdown and asked me out basically and just now finally the DA I was writing here about, when I first came to this forum, reached out with a "project". I am talented, but not that talented. He doesn't need to hire me for any project, any 500,000 professionals in my city can do the same thing that I do. Sigh.
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Post by jeffrey on May 2, 2020 19:28:11 GMT
Yeah. My ex who is clinically diagnosed bpd reached out about a month ago. She tried to sell herself to me on the basis that she has been in therapy and made progress. Mind you, she just got out of prison and has major substance abuse issues too. I declined her attempt to get me to break up with my current girlfriend (even though she's deactivating and not really speaking to me right now) and get back with her. Wow. Just typing this out has helped me realize what a crazy time and place I'm in right now
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alice
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Post by alice on May 3, 2020 1:00:51 GMT
I agree. I'm thinking this is happening a lot. Two of my major exes both reached out within a few weeks since the lockdown and asked me out basically and just now finally the DA I was writing here about, when I first came to this forum, reached out with a "project". I am talented, but not that talented. He doesn't need to hire me for any project, any 500,000 professionals in my city can do the same thing that I do. Sigh. Wow, so you're just knocking them out! Sorry to hear about the recent one. That is difficult if you are trying to move on. I would be frustrated in general if someone reached out to me casually as if none of the stuff before happened. |
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alice
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Post by alice on May 3, 2020 1:02:18 GMT
Yeah. My ex who is clinically diagnosed bpd reached out about a month ago. She tried to sell herself to me on the basis that she has been in therapy and made progress. Mind you, she just got out of prison and has major substance abuse issues too. I declined her attempt to get me to break up with my current girlfriend (even though she's deactivating and not really speaking to me right now) and get back with her. Wow. Just typing this out has helped me realize what a crazy time and place I'm in right now Take care of yourself. Many may consider being alone in this time to be torture, but I think it is beyond worse to be with the wrong person while all this is going on. I'd personally rather be alone. |
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Post by jeffrey on May 3, 2020 1:16:14 GMT
Yeah. My ex who is clinically diagnosed bpd reached out about a month ago. She tried to sell herself to me on the basis that she has been in therapy and made progress. Mind you, she just got out of prison and has major substance abuse issues too. I declined her attempt to get me to break up with my current girlfriend (even though she's deactivating and not really speaking to me right now) and get back with her. Wow. Just typing this out has helped me realize what a crazy time and place I'm in right now Take care of yourself. Many may consider being alone in this time to be torture, but I think it is beyond worse to be with the wrong person while all this is going on. I'd personally rather be alone. [br Thanks. Im alone anyway lol. But doing my own work |
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Post by annieb on May 3, 2020 15:04:27 GMT
I agree. I'm thinking this is happening a lot. Two of my major exes both reached out within a few weeks since the lockdown and asked me out basically and just now finally the DA I was writing here about, when I first came to this forum, reached out with a "project". I am talented, but not that talented. He doesn't need to hire me for any project, any 500,000 professionals in my city can do the same thing that I do. Sigh. Wow, so you're just knocking them out! Sorry to hear about the recent one. That is difficult if you are trying to move on. I would be frustrated in general if someone reached out to me casually as if none of the stuff before happened. Thank you! The two old ones are from my younger years and I didn’t mind responding to them. I have no resentment for them at this point as it has been 15 and 9 years since we dated respectively.. We chit chatted and it was fine. Obviously I’m not going to date them ever. The recent one, I wrote here about I think first three years ago, when we had already been dating on and off for two years. In retrospect that relationship really turned up my AP and solidified my FA. He has come forth and apologized, etc, and he is in a new relationship or was at least a year and a half ago. And I think I was still angry at him maybe even less than a year ago, even though we dated 5 years ago, and the behavior he was showing me then, I should have left at a two months mark. His recent text, I was not expecting to hear from him ever and I didn’t respond and erased it. I have really nothing left to say to him. He has used me professionally before without proper compensation and I’m just never going to do that again, I feel yucky for ever disrespecting myself the way I did and seeking his useless validation. |
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Post by Helsbells on May 3, 2020 15:34:45 GMT
Yeah. My ex who is clinically diagnosed bpd reached out about a month ago. She tried to sell herself to me on the basis that she has been in therapy and made progress. Mind you, she just got out of prison and has major substance abuse issues too. I declined her attempt to get me to break up with my current girlfriend (even though she's deactivating and not really speaking to me right now) and get back with her. Wow. Just typing this out has helped me realize what a crazy time and place I'm in right now Take care of yourself. Many may consider being alone in this time to be torture, but I think it is beyond worse to be with the wrong person while all this is going on. I'd personally rather be alone. me too. I felt alone most of the time whilst I was with my FA/DA. I least now I can focus on me and not waiting for the crumbs from him. |
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Post by mrob on May 4, 2020 2:28:57 GMT
Interesting. Since all of this, I too, have had time to be probably too introspective, and have thought about making amends to two in particular. Sometimes though, the best amends are to let people get on with their life uninterrupted by me.
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Post by Helsbells on May 15, 2020 14:06:14 GMT
Has anyone had exes reach out during this time? I received a surprise of an email from someone I dated a long time ago. We had a great relationship but did not part on good terms. He wasn't honest, ultimately. He ended the relationship very prematurely but stuck around in my life. When I found out about his dishonesty, I quite swiftly cut him out of my life completely. I had very little skills/tools back then to understand or handle this whole thing, but all of these details point towards insecure attachment. I just have seen much much worse cases of it since him, so I want to say he's on the lighter side of the spectrum. He emailed me several years ago also and apologized in a very insincere and self serving way. He didn't get a positive response from me, in return. But the email I just received was very different, and he took complete responsibility. I'm impressed. He is very reminiscent, regretful and seemingly remorseful. Maybe a phantom ex thing? Or maybe just pushed over the edge because of pandemic... I'm not asking how I should respond, but I am curious about his behavior. . I truly hate this type of behaviour. My ex use to do this to a lot of his exs who he had hurt and they were trying to move on. He would contact them when he needed his ego stroked even though he had treated them really badly. He literally has most of his exs contact numbers or girls hes just used for sex. Its horrible selfish behaviour no matter how sincere the apology appears. He did it to one ex who really struggled for years to get over him after him picking her up and dropping her and using her for sex. She finally managed to find someone else when he popped back up into her life via a PM on Instagram pretending she meant so much to him and how fond his memories were of her. Its absolute bs he actually told me he only ever used her. I have recently found this out because she privately contacted me telling me all his shitty behaviour towards her. Now it is causing her problems with her new man as shes tempted to believe my exs bs. I am beginning to think he has a lot of narcissistic traits aswell as being unavailable emotionally. |
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Post by 8675309 on May 23, 2020 11:49:18 GMT
From other info Ive gathered there is a 'pandemic' of exes reaching out. Its surely 'thing' right now. LOL
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