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Post by emkaye on Sept 6, 2017 14:01:16 GMT
I've just ended a three year "vague" friendship/relationship with an avoidant. In case, you are wondering, I lean towards the fearful avoidant type. Here is my conclusion: We are like a gas station, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We offer 3 kinds of gas: emotional support, companionship and sex/affection. They stop by whenever their tank is empty. We never know when this will be... they pay us in false hopes and then leave us again. We never quite know WHEN they will return or IF they will return. They might even stop at a competitor once and awhile... but they know we are there... always there waiting for them. As a Anxious preoccupied this has been my relationship with my co-habiting avoidant only now he has ended the relationship after 4 years of ups and downs. However, we are still sharing a house but seperated. He has given me money and rent free accommodation here as long as i want. I think this arrangement suits him very well, i am still here sitting in another room, so he is not completely alone and still in control. I am seeking therapy and some where else to rent in a very expensive area with my elderly dog and a a low income. Something will come up. It's a painful position to be in as i am grieving and mourning the loss of him and his lovely family including his elderly parents and his grown up sons who i am very fond of, while still being under the same roof with him. It sucks! Aww. I'm so sorry that had to go through this. Painful indeed. I'll say a prayer for you. Yes, sometimes breaking up with their family is worse than breaking up with the person! I went through that too! |
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Post by DearLover on Sept 6, 2017 19:43:57 GMT
On first dates pay attention on the 'predatory' eyes and love bombing + pushing to break your boundaries.
It s better to ask all of the important questions on the first 3 dates when none of us in totally emotional invested and there is no real intimacy to fear or run away from.
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