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Post by Helsbells on May 2, 2020 20:54:45 GMT
Hey guys been a little while since I checked in. Been working on my shit for a while. Lots of self love and taking back my power. Hoisting myself back on the pedestal I put my ex FA on. An wow I'm feeling great. My ex was coming on so heavy in lockdown a gently eased him off then blocked him on everything. I'm sorry but attachment style is not an excuse to treat people who care about you like shit and low priority
We have all been affected by our childhood, hell mine was without ever been told I was loved and wanted and abandoned at 2 yes old, but I know how to respect and treat a fellow human. Enough said lolzz
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Post by serenity on May 2, 2020 21:44:19 GMT
Hey guys been a little while since I checked in. Been working on my shit for a while. Lots of self love and taking back my power. Hoisting myself back on the pedestal I put my ex FA on. An wow I'm feeling great. My ex was coming on so heavy in lockdown a gently eased him off then blocked him on everything. I'm sorry but attachment style is not an excuse to treat people who care about you like shit and low priority We have all been affected by our childhood, hell mine was without ever been told I was loved and wanted and abandoned at 2 yes old, but I know how to respect and treat a fellow human. Enough said lolzz Hey You!! <3 So glad to hear an update from you, and that you are feeling strong. That's entirely right, about how we all have wounds and its not an excuse to mistreat people and jerk them around emotionally. Its interesting that your ex behaved that way during lockdown too. I had been working with my ex for 5 months post breakup, it was low contact thankfully. And when lockdown happened he got very vulnerable too.... Was texting "love yous" , said that he missed me every day , couldn't stop thinking about me etc blah. Then he melted down from his own vulnerability, went back to an ex, blocked me. I found out via colleagues about the other woman, and that he's also started a kind of mini smear campaign to justify blocking me to work mates. I'll just rearrange some stuff so I don't have to interact with him, but the immaturity and callousness is astounding, just because "he had a feeling". Thank goodness for this forum. I don't feel blindsided by any of this, nor was I tempted by his cycling this time, though he laid it on thick enough for it to sting when he suddenly flipped. I feel something like a total loss of respect? Its a good feeling, maybe like what you said "fully removing him from the pedastool". The colleagues i've talked to are feeling the same way, and have a lost a lot of patience with the way he treats me and others at work. |
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Post by Helsbells on May 3, 2020 11:44:01 GMT
Hey guys been a little while since I checked in. Been working on my shit for a while. Lots of self love and taking back my power. Hoisting myself back on the pedestal I put my ex FA on. An wow I'm feeling great. My ex was coming on so heavy in lockdown a gently eased him off then blocked him on everything. I'm sorry but attachment style is not an excuse to treat people who care about you like shit and low priority We have all been affected by our childhood, hell mine was without ever been told I was loved and wanted and abandoned at 2 yes old, but I know how to respect and treat a fellow human. Enough said lolzz Hey You!! <3 So glad to hear an update from you, and that you are feeling strong. That's entirely right, about how we all have wounds and its not an excuse to mistreat people and jerk them around emotionally. Its interesting that your ex behaved that way during lockdown too. I had been working with my ex for 5 months post breakup, it was low contact thankfully. And when lockdown happened he got very vulnerable too.... Was texting "love yous" , said that he missed me every day , couldn't stop thinking about me etc blah. Then he melted down from his own vulnerability, went back to an ex, blocked me. I found out via colleagues about the other woman, and that he's also started a kind of mini smear campaign to justify blocking me to work mates. I'll just rearrange some stuff so I don't have to interact with him, but the immaturity and callousness is astounding, just because "he had a feeling". Thank goodness for this forum. I don't feel blindsided by any of this, nor was I tempted by his cycling this time, though he laid it on thick enough for it to sting when he suddenly flipped. I feel something like a total loss of respect? Its a good feeling, maybe like what you said "fully removing him from the pedastool". The colleagues i've talked to are feeling the same way, and have a lost a lot of patience with the way he treats me and others at work. Hey lovely, great to hear from you and hope your well. Oh yeah those damn feelings hey....cant be having that. Glad your ok and really sorry he managed to cause a sting, I totally get that as mine did a very good job at trying to real me back in. Found out hes trying it on with other exes too. I think any compassion I had which was all attachment related for him has gone from me. He has a loving family who care about him dearly. When I look back at mine all I see is a sad lonely scared little girl. We all have the choice to heal and he is not willing to do that. You have done so much healing and inner work and it's truly paying off regarding solid boundaries and real awareness. I do have gratitude from what I have learnt about myself and my own attachment. He was the one who brought me here so yes grateful for that but would have loved to never have gotten here thru so much pain and heartache, but I guess this was my path and journey of self discovery. I feel ready to be single and focus on my family, friends and buying my boat, no complications that come from being in a relationship. What about you hun, any plans for the future xx |
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Post by serenity on May 4, 2020 1:22:36 GMT
Hey Helsbells <3 Yeah its painful, huh? I wish I had been able to lose my compassion for my ex the first time he hurt me - that's a great place to be hels, and I know how much you've gone through to get there. For me compassion is the last thing to go when I've loved someone. But something that helped (more than I expected) was to tell him that I no longer trusted him, and that he would need to do an awful lot to win it back. It seemed to shock and anger him, and that's when he blocked me. But if he ever cycles back again, he will know that a few flowery words won't get him anywhere. I feel stronger for having said that to him. I'm loving that you're going ahead with your plans for buying a boat..that sounds like a real wonderful lifestyle change! Are you still thinking of picking one to live on, or will it be more for recreation ? I'm doing pretty good here too. I've been looking at ways to be financially independent and work from home for a long while, so I've been focusing on that during lockdown and already seeing a very healthy income. Fingers crossed, this will mean I can eventually leave my old workplace and the ex behind for good. Just the thought of having no contact fills me with a sense of relief, its been rough not having it. Hope you have a lovely day, and I look forward to hearing more about your adventures! XX |
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Post by toorational on May 5, 2020 12:58:45 GMT
Congrats on your progress! Good job on blocking him, that's really you taking power back. It feels great when you're in the right mindset.
Best of luck for the future.
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