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Post by fatalcharm on Sept 7, 2017 20:25:54 GMT
After reading very helpful posts here from self-identifying avoidants, I spoke with my FA who confirmed that when we are in each other's presence (long distance relationship, so about once a month) she is fighting anxiety the entire time. So my question is: Has anyone here had success with anxiety management techniques like mindfulness, desensitization, etc? I understand that the anxiety is a symptom of deeper wounds that require healing, but wouldn't lessening the symptoms make things better for both partners? Anyone has any feedback or experience?
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Post by howpredictable on Sept 8, 2017 2:50:18 GMT
No success. Mindfulness does not work for me. And I cannot tolerate the anxiety long enough, even incrementally, to get desensitized.
As you say: It's a core wound, developed in childhood. These are bandaid "solutions" to counteract some of the symptoms, in my view.
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Post by abolish on Sept 8, 2017 16:15:38 GMT
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Post by cricket on Sept 8, 2017 16:21:02 GMT
Sitting with emotional pain is extremely hard for some and I imagine that is what the avoidants are running from but if they do ever sit w it and allow that pain to be processed in a healthy manner this time around they would finally be able to start healing. The thing about keeping out all those bad yucky feelings and closing yourself off to being hurt is you never are able to fully open yourself up to letting in ALL the happiness and good feelings. You can't close out one side of emotions without closing off all sides.
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