Me
Junior Member
Posts: 54
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Hard day
Jun 6, 2020 5:34:12 GMT
via mobile
Post by Me on Jun 6, 2020 5:34:12 GMT
This is so awful . I just wish I meant something to the father of my child and I dont at all
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Post by tnr9 on Jun 6, 2020 12:02:20 GMT
This is so awful . I just wish I meant something to the father of my child and I dont at all I am so terribly sorry for you. Sending cyber hugs. Is there anything you can do for yourself to remind yourself that you do matter? Like treat yourself to something you really enjoy. |
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Post by annieb on Jun 6, 2020 15:16:08 GMT
This is so awful . I just wish I meant something to the father of my child and I dont at all It took me a long time to understand, but if he is disrespecting you it doesn’t mean that you don’t mean anything to him. It probably means he fears you. I could be wrong in your case, but it’s always worth remembering that what they are reacting to in you is not about you, it’s about them. |
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Post by alexandra on Jun 6, 2020 21:15:55 GMT
This is so awful . I just wish I meant something to the father of my child and I dont at all It took me a long time to understand, but if he is disrespecting you it doesn’t mean that you don’t mean anything to him. It probably means he fears you. I could be wrong in your case, but it’s always worth remembering that what they are reacting to in you is not about you, it’s about them. I agree with this. When I've been disrespected by men (ugh, many, many, many times), it generally always went back to: they felt bad about themselves and wanted to put me down to make themselves to feel better (including if they perceived that I rejected them, even if I didn't), they're so self-absorbed (or possibly sexist) they don't realize it, or they have control issues and need to keep in control no matter what (which may or may not mean putting you down, but putting their need for control first). It's about them, not me... |
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Me
Junior Member
Posts: 54
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Post by Me on Jun 9, 2020 9:21:01 GMT
Thanks everyone. I think that does sound right that he is scared or unhappy inside .I'm trying to remember it's something wrong with him and not me it's just sometimes the ruminating takes over and it gets to me .
It's just the small things but I'm trying so hard I have a 10 month old and I work part time and he will pick on the smallest things that I haven't done at home or that I've done wrong and it just makes me feel like a failure . I know it's an avoidant thing to nitpick but it's hard not to take it personally sometimes . I think I need to focus on building my confidence and not taking it in . Thanks so much
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Me
Junior Member
Posts: 54
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Post by Me on Jun 9, 2020 9:22:35 GMT
And yeah I think he does have control issues . He always has to be right and not just with me . I see it with him and his mum they talk down to each other
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