In my immediate circle, my three best friends, my sister and half sister, my late parents and uncles, my best work acquaintances, are/ were all anxious and/ or avoidant, and yet they are an exceptional bunch with a real love and a societal value. They may not be best at romantic relationships and family, but they have great qualities and great empathy.
I read these forums and I find great solace here. My questions are always answered with the most thoughtful answers and I read other people’s experiences, and I love the compassion each and every one has shown here. Pretty much everyone that posts here is anxious or avoidant or both, and yet the great empathy and care that we are showing each other, well, I don’t need “secure” in my life. I have all of you.
This has been the best place I’ve found in the last three years or so. Sometimes it’s been tough, but I have a group of people that I can trust implicitly. Having met one in person as well, I can say there’s no fakers here!! We are who we are, warts and all, and that’s invaluable.
I have sooo appreciated the opportunity to be “real” here in a way that I haven’t been able to with others who ran out of patience years ago with my inability to get over B. It has been so invaluable to have a place where I can say...still not over him and have people say...yep...I understand, I am in the same boat. That freedom really helped me to see that I was not alone, that I was not some “messed up girl who could not get her stuff together” and that there are 2 sides to the insecurity model....i am not responsible for the success or failure of a relationship.