Dismissive Avoidant or Secure?

Not secure, but not sure what the issue is. Could be DA, could be autism spectrum, she could be mistaking his sympathy for "empathy" (which is actually what it sounds like the issue is to me). I met a guy who told me he naturally has little to no empathy but lots of sympathy so he doesn't act like or believe he's a sociopath and tries to take feedback and act like a normal human. But he can't feel someone else's emotions if he sees them in front of him unless he's experienced whatever it is personally (like, if he saw someone fall off a bicycle, he'd feel no twinge of pain himself, he'd be neutral. He might think "oh, that sucks and might be painful, maybe they need help!" IF he'd fallen off a bike before. Otherwise, someone could be eating an apple or petting a cat or getting hurt falling off a bike, all the same to him.)

It was the first time I ever considered things in those terms and I was grateful for his honesty and told him I was no longer interested (I already know from experience I don't pair with someone with low EQ, to put it nicely).

I doubt the guy in the link is secure from the emotional running and suppression descriptions and from this: "I guess mine is less reliable/thoughtful/consistent which is the part that bothers me. When we're together, it's great, but he doesn't like to spend too much time together & will prioritize his work and personal projects over me."

As you know from my other posts, consistency is the biggest secure tell. Which means inconsistency is more likely to indicate insecure attachment.

Plus there's this: "I'm starting to believe he is more attached than he says, but would never say so bc I was really lukewarm about him for a long time. It could be that he feels too much and for that, he suppresses his feelings for fear of them."

But I don't think he's entirely explained by insecure attachment. There may be a biological component too if his range of emotions is flat-ish, and he doesn't produce enough of some hormone or neurotransmitter or something.