Therapy and starting to look at dad

I’m still going through some of your posts, so maybe you ended up writing more about this, but this is extremely important in my opinion. My father is EXTREMELY avoidant, even though he loves me so much, in the best way he can, it’s been sorely lacking in nurturance and effort. He didn’t take good care of himself so there was an undercurrent of worry and feeling of responsibility, he didn’t go on trips with me, and as I got older we didn’t talk. He’d love when I was over at his house but would like me to be in the background, in the other room often. We did some activities together which was a good thing, like paint and make model airplanes and watch movies. We’ve always had a rapport of humor and intellect and affection....similar to my DA. He’d get angry and insult me and wouldn’t apologize (when I was a child.). The limitations and lack of awareness he and my DA have are astounding. I have always been able to forgive/disregard unacceptable behavior/neglect from a loved one because I absolutely had to as a child. And I’m able to see the potential bc my father actually got better when he wanted to...he went to therapy in his 60s. Definitely a gigantic connection.