I'm trying to help my FA female friend do some research on somatic healing as we've been discussing how her nervous system overwhelm leads to a variety of unhealthy behaviors and relationship problems.
I know several people here have gone through it and had success, is there anything you could share or any resources?
(She has experienced extreme, repetitive abuse and trauma. She's extremely FA, with very strong outbursts in either direction, but especially when triggered dismissive. She gets very spiteful. She also has trouble regulating when she's in "boring" environments but at the same time when she's overwhelmed with feelings of intimacy.)
She needs to find a certified somatic therapist in her area if possible. Because of COVID there are some lax rules about treating people out of city or state, but those likely wont last. I would tell her to look them up and if you can't find someone in your town you can probably find someone in state but in a bigger city. It's based on "the body keeps the score" which you recommended so you could have her read that too!
As you already saw, it's been invaluable to me. I've been able to pull myself out of highly triggering situations from romantic to friends to work and regulate my emotions in ways I never could before. So there is a lot of hope!
Oh yes yes yes! In ways nothing else ever has before. In fact, something happened last night that made me want to call things off and break up with him on the spot (so extremely high anxiety) but these exercises have helped me a TON. I now can think things like "Let me wait 24 hours before I do anythin" as opposed to "If I don't get away now I am going to be destroyed". Sounds like a small thing but trust me that's big for me. Likewise it's helped me manage my abandonment fears so much (which, i'm sure as you already know-when those are bad it can feel like I am ACTUALLY and LEGITIMATELY going to die) I told my therapist "I will go from a 10 down to a 7 now and I will take that!"
Caroline-I will DM you about it as it's so specific that if (god forbid) he were to ever find this, he would literally know who I was. But for anyone else reading this who might be curious, suffice it to say it was largely (90%) my own crap with some roots in legitimate crap, but the problem is that when I get into a state of emotional dysregulation (highly distressed) I don't think I can trust the other person, etc etc.
Getting back to the original post, the tools I have learned through somatic therapy have helped me so much to be able to pull myself back when I am highly agitated (it's certainly not perfect! But it's so so so much better already and I just started). I also have an excellent therapist who really understands attachment so that helps a lot too