Mourning the loss of the ideal self

So on the flip side of getting honest about my “type” of man...I am also having to face the reality of who I am versus my ideal self.  My ideal self is a go getter, she has confidence to do things, even by herself, she has a huge circle of friends, she is motivated to exercise, she is advancing in her career etc etc.  The reality is that I am 95% unmotivated (I have to wait for days when I feel energized to get things done), I tend to stay home, I have a very small set of friends....even writing this down makes me sad.  I am not 100% sure why I am this way...but....instead of berating myself or trying to fit a mold that is impossible....I am trying to embrace the real me with love and acceptance.