Post by kittygirl on Aug 14, 2020 19:23:31 GMT
Hello all! I am going to create this thread so I can add to it as I continue with my journey!
So in general I would say I am slowly but surely doing better. As I have mentioned before, somatic therapy has been incredible for me. It has helped me to a) be able to come back down when triggered more easily and b) experience triggers less frequently in general. Both of these are amazing!
One thing that I have been really struggling with (and it's probably something a lot of us think about and maybe don't like to admit) is how to deal with the scarcity mindset (by that i mean "I will never find someone else like XXX") as I age. When I was younger I truly never put too much emphasis on one person. I was absolutely sure I could find many other people I would have a great connection with. But NOW as I am getting older, I am finding it harder to tell myself this stuff especially when I am so aware of attachment statistics (haha I was thinking the other day this ironically would have been one of the only times I wish I was more ignorant in a way to attachment stuff). So I get worried about encountering a ton of avoidants in the dating pool if things with my current guy were to end which really freaks me out. Also, I find the person I am with to be so attractive (both physically and personality-wise) and when I go on to dating apps (I did it once only as a matter of fact and cried about it because I just didn't find anyone to be particularly funny or attractive or anything which of course he is...and this crushed me) I have gotten so disillusioned about my options. And then I come on these threads and it seems like an absolute NIGHTMARE. So my question to anyone at all who is reading this (and I guess I really mean people who are single or dating) is how do you get over that mindset of "oh my god this is the absolute best I'm going to get so I better not ever let it go"? I try to tell myself it's ok to just be single, but as I am getting older a whole new wave of dread of "I will die alone with no one" starts to wash over me. What do you guys do?