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Post by fatalcharm on Sept 25, 2017 22:17:07 GMT
Any avoidants or those who dated avoidants out there that managed to work through their issues and live happily ever after?
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Post by bravocharlie on Oct 21, 2017 16:16:47 GMT
(Crickets)
LOL!!
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Post by mollym on Apr 29, 2018 16:06:17 GMT
Any avoidants or those who dated avoidants out there that managed to work through their issues and live happily ever after? Is that a pig I see.... flying!  |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2018 16:29:00 GMT
I am avoidant and I really think it would have worked out with my ex-AP if he hadn't used race against me. I can overlook a lot of things, but that hit my limit.
There was also an avoidant on this board who was in a working relationship, but she no longer posts here.
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Post by mollym on Apr 29, 2018 17:03:22 GMT
Yes I read what happened to you and I am genuinely sorry that you had to suffer such disrespect from someone you were growing to trust. Thanks for all your sharing you are a real gem on this forum....here comes the but Mary, you are female. I have been reading quite a lot of posts here, trying to get my head around avoidant attachment as played out in real life. Am I right in remembering that the other avoidant you speak of is also female? From what I have observed thus far, I believe that when female avoidants become aware they seem to make better progress. I have no hypothesis for this just an observation. I am editing, to add that mrob's high level of awareness and ability to self reflect is exemplary. He very well could be the first male avoidant here to give us the 'happy ever after'. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2018 19:56:19 GMT
Yes I read what happened to you and I am genuinely sorry that you had to suffer such disrespect from someone you were growing to trust. Thanks for all your sharing you are a real gem on this forum....here comes the but Mary, you are female. I have been reading quite a lot of posts here, trying to get my head around avoidant attachment as played out in real life. Am I right in remembering that the other avoidant you speak of is also female? From what I have observed thus far, I believe that when female avoidants become aware they seem to make better progress. I have no hypothesis for this just an observation. I am editing, to add that mrob's high level of awareness and ability to self reflect is exemplary. He very well could be the first male avoidant here to give us the 'happy ever after'. Thank you very much. Yes,juniper was female as well. I have no idea if there is a gender difference. I have only read (somewhere) that the majority of avoidants are male and the majority of APs are female. There are very few avoidants that post on here anyway, so it would be hard to really deduct any meaningful data based on this forum. I think mrob is the only male avoidant who posts here at all and he is a great contributor. |
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Post by tnr9 on Apr 29, 2018 22:57:11 GMT
Yes I read what happened to you and I am genuinely sorry that you had to suffer such disrespect from someone you were growing to trust. Thanks for all your sharing you are a real gem on this forum....here comes the but Mary, you are female. I have been reading quite a lot of posts here, trying to get my head around avoidant attachment as played out in real life. Am I right in remembering that the other avoidant you speak of is also female? From what I have observed thus far, I believe that when female avoidants become aware they seem to make better progress. I have no hypothesis for this just an observation. I am editing, to add that mrob's high level of awareness and ability to self reflect is exemplary. He very well could be the first male avoidant here to give us the 'happy ever after'. OMGoodness...."happily ever after" is a lot of pressure for anyone. 😀 |
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Post by mrob on Apr 30, 2018 14:25:45 GMT
...and this avoidant just got dumped by text. Exemplary? I think not! Thank you for the compliment, though!
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Post by tnr9 on Apr 30, 2018 15:06:26 GMT
...and this avoidant just got dumped by text. Exemplary? I think not! Thank you for the compliment, though! Oh...ouch....how are you doing? |
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Post by goldilocks on Apr 30, 2018 19:27:03 GMT
I'm leading a satisfying and meaningful life; I used to test as DA and test as secure now, so I have been succesful in gaining greater security, though I'm not in a relationship.
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Post by mollym on Apr 30, 2018 20:43:29 GMT
...and this avoidant just got dumped by text. Exemplary? I think not! Thank you for the compliment, though! Really sorry to hear that mrob, I wish you peace and healing at this time. I still think the level of awareness you have achieved is amazing. |
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Post by mrob on May 1, 2018 22:52:01 GMT
Thanks folks. I’m actually ok. There were non attachment related aspects that weren’t right for me. What wasn’t working for her was definitely attachment related. Certainly a learning experience!
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Post by tnr9 on May 2, 2018 14:30:48 GMT
Thanks folks. I’m actually ok. There were non attachment related aspects that weren’t right for me. What wasn’t working for her was definitely attachment related. Certainly a learning experience! Honestly...I find the whole..."there were non attachment aspects that weren't right for me" fascinating. I think it is definately a healthier way to go, but I have always found myself to be very invested (probably too invested) early on and once I am invested, I tend not to look objectively at compatibility aspects. Just something that I will want to work on going forward. |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2018 14:45:50 GMT
Thanks folks. I’m actually ok. There were non attachment related aspects that weren’t right for me. What wasn’t working for her was definitely attachment related. Certainly a learning experience! Honestly...I find the whole..."there were non attachment aspects that weren't right for me" fascinating. I think it is definately a healthier way to go, but I have always found myself to be very invested (probably too invested) early on and once I am invested, I tend not to look objectively at compatibility aspects. Just something that I will want to work on going forward. Ok, this I can't imagine. How do you become invested when the initial compatibility aspects are not there or not looked at first? I am just curious. |
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Post by tnr9 on May 2, 2018 16:53:13 GMT
Honestly...I find the whole..."there were non attachment aspects that weren't right for me" fascinating. I think it is definately a healthier way to go, but I have always found myself to be very invested (probably too invested) early on and once I am invested, I tend not to look objectively at compatibility aspects. Just something that I will want to work on going forward. Ok, this I can't imagine. How do you become invested when the initial compatibility aspects are not there or not looked at first? I am just curious. Yeh...it is a little tricky to explain for someone who doesn't experience it...would need more time to translate that into terms that make sense for others. |
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