It's been such a long time since I haven't posted. I have limited time since I am now working, studying and handling my newly adopted massive dog.
I just wanted to post this to update a bit about my situation regarding my anxious attachment style: I am finally handling things as best as I can. I've stopped drinking alcohol (I used to lash out when drunk because I repressed my feelings), and dedicated myself to heal and understand my grief, my insecurities, fears and resentments. I've also learned how to feel more comfortable with myself and not hide my feelings, but accept and work on them. I've been going to AA meetings: although I don't consider I have a full-blown alcohol problem, I wanted to understand why I acted like I did when I drank (I tried therapy but I had bad luck with my therapist and felt she wasn't very professional). I'm now a year sober and I've stopped going, but I can say they have helped me deal with my emotions in a better way. Of course I sometimes have bad days but I can see them with more perspective. I feel like my old self again.
I am still with my boyfriend (who used to have avoidant tendencies), and I can tell you.. it feels like we have both reached a much needed secureness. He has supported me greatly in everything, we're living together for a year and enjoyed it even with quarantine. I don't know if we'll ever have more attachment problems, but I feel much more confident in how we will deal with them.
I guess what has worked for me is very... unorthodox to say the least, but I just wanted to share it in case I can help someone out there going through something similiar. Thank you so much for supporting me and reading
Its lovely to hear from you lilyg. Sounds like you are doing really well on your healing journey. I do drink to stuff things down but feel like I am in a good place since ending things with my ex FA. He triggered the hell out of me and my mental health was seriously compromised whilst I was in a relationship with him. I have met a new man who I feel is AP/secure and he is helping me heal by showing me so much love and care. He makes me feel so valued and worthy which i so needed after my ex dumped all his shitty insecurities on me and made me feel so insecure and unattractive. I am so happy for you and wish you love peace and happiness xx