So partner has been out to the pub and his friend just called him on speaker and said if you like sarah ill get her over so you can bang her .
I feel like he was trying to flirt online with women most of our relationship. I havent seen anything to be sure and he made out like i was being paranoid over nothing so i gave the benefit of the doubt . It seems to me like he is up to no good behind my back and meeting girls . I messaged his friend and he is claiming that he just said it because this girl likes him and he is trying to get rid of her but the whole thing seems so shady .
He is angry at me for getting angry over nothing. Ive broken up with him because of it . Am i being unreasonable and jumping to conclusions ?
Hes some kind of avoidant, i was always ap but after work and this relationship i am testing highest in secure and fa . I dont know if im being reasonable or getting overly worked up . What would a secure person do ?
So as an earned secure person with an earned secure boyfriend... I can't even imagine this scenario happening. From the standpoint of either he'd have told me about or introduced me to these friends before so I'd know everyone involved and if this really was just a prank call OR, if it wasn't an obvious prank to be funny and was serious, he'd tell the friend to stop being disrespectful and might get angry at the friend and distance from him if the friend had a history of being disrespectful.
The key is, I wouldn't feel jealous because he's given me zero reason to be jealous. And I'd feel respected if he stood up to others disrespecting the relationship. While you may be prone to jealousy if you have a history of AP/FA, due to abandonment fears (and I used to be AP, I get that), and that's on you to manage if it's all projection and someone ISN'T giving you reasons to be insecure, that's not what it sounds like here. Being avoidant isn't an excuse to make you feel less than once you've communicated that something bothers you a lot. That's the time to ask, why is this bothering you and how can we work it out together?
If he has a history of disrespect and one foot out the door, then the cumulative behavior over time makes a breakup reasonable. Just be sure you're done and not using a breakup as a protest behavior weapon to try to make him change or come to his senses about losing you... that's just a recipe for prolonged disaster and not a healthy relationship.