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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2017 5:25:29 GMT
I am a now a refugee from the northern California fires with my two children. Had to get them out of the smoke, and the rental places where I and my ex respectively live (having lost our house and gone bankrupt due to The Cycle) may yet burn to the ground along with most of our stuff. My work has been cancelled for a week and a half. Ex is in insurance, so she and her office has been holding down the fort dealing with clients who lost everything. Also dealing with smoke inhalation, and I thought her lungs would be wrecked but only quite recently did she tell me another rep from her company came down with the proper masks. What extraordinarily few and extremely laconic correspondences we have had in the past three days via texts regarding the children and the fires have been initiated by me. All need-to-know stuff. It's not like she trusts me to take care of things. If amount of criticism is any indicator, then she doesn't trust me at all. Nah, I'd chalk up her total lack of interest in the whereabouts and safety of her children solely to the fires and all the desperate claimants coming in, except for the fact that this is merely par for the course, status quo, same old same old DA Vulcan behavior she always does. Yawn.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2017 5:53:02 GMT
And the funny thing is, it would never make any difference whatsoever to her whether or not I was proud of her for helping so many of her clients in their time of need. It means ALL THE WORLD to her that everyone else on the planet would be proud of her. But even when we were together, how I felt about her or her accomplishments meant nothing to her. It would all go into a void. So I stopped with all that. Let her have her gazillion and a half superficial relationships as well as that empty void in her inner core. Just gotta deal with childcare stuff with her. Blech.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2017 6:49:20 GMT
Good on you for recognising this pattern and that it will just be same old thing time and time again - and absolutely - let her go as far as you can so that you can focus on what you and your kids need. It does really hurt having been in a relationship with someone like this for so long but you've made the first step and broken free ( at least in some way shape or form). You were probably one of the few people to know the real her - and she doesn't like that - classic narcissistic tendencies from what you describe. One of the things I need to constantly remind myself is not to take this stuff personally - have you read the four agreements? Might not resonate with you but it's a simple way to navigate life gracefully when times are difficult (and when they're not!) Hope you and your kids stay safe www.amazon.co.uk/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
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