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Post by iz42 on Dec 22, 2020 4:41:09 GMT
Happy winter solstice, all. I'm finding this holiday season (compounded by covid isolation) to be challenging. I would much rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but I admit that it's tough this year. Everything feels heavy. Maybe this means that I'm regressing in my journey toward being secure, I don't know. Sending good thoughts to anyone else who might be struggling.
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Post by tnr9 on Dec 22, 2020 13:48:05 GMT
Happy winter solstice, all. I'm finding this holiday season (compounded by covid isolation) to be challenging. I would much rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but I admit that it's tough this year. Everything feels heavy. Maybe this means that I'm regressing in my journey toward being secure, I don't know. Sending good thoughts to anyone else who might be struggling. I understand....especially being stuck at home, I miss having someone to be stuck at home with. But....I have this fluffy cat to keep me company...and he is very FA so it feels incredibly familiar...lol. |
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Post by anne12 on Dec 22, 2020 17:50:42 GMT
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Post by iz42 on Dec 22, 2020 19:33:13 GMT
Happy winter solstice, all. I'm finding this holiday season (compounded by covid isolation) to be challenging. I would much rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but I admit that it's tough this year. Everything feels heavy. Maybe this means that I'm regressing in my journey toward being secure, I don't know. Sending good thoughts to anyone else who might be struggling. I understand....especially being stuck at home, I miss having someone to be stuck at home with. But....I have this fluffy cat to keep me company...and he is very FA so it feels incredibly familiar...lol. Cats tend to be very FA I've noticed! haha. He sounds like a cozy companion though  |
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Post by iz42 on Dec 22, 2020 19:43:13 GMT
Thank you for these suggestions anne12. I have been watching some fun shows and connecting with others online. I will try the other exercises you mentioned. I think in some ways I also need to just accept that this is hard and not beat myself up about it. I'm in the U.S. and I've found the covid numbers and deaths to be horrifying. I have to acknowledge that the reality is just that things are difficult this year. I'm grateful for the time to get to know myself better (I live alone) and there are definitely positives. I'm stronger and more confident in myself. At the same time it's just tough to see so much suffering. |
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Post by anne12 on Dec 22, 2020 19:55:09 GMT
- At the same time it's just tough to see so much suffering.
Yes, I agree .. its very sad.
Sometimes we just have to sit with it all and not use spiritual bypassing.
Watching all the "crazy" things that has happend this year in the US (and around the world) has been devestating.
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Post by seeking on Dec 25, 2020 0:36:07 GMT
As someone leaning more parasympathetic, with elastic connetive tissue, I have to be aware not to go too much into freeze under the lockdown. This may be a little off topic, but can you explain how elastic connective tissue is related here? Intriguing- |
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Post by anne12 on Dec 25, 2020 3:38:50 GMT
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Post by alexandra on Dec 25, 2020 5:04:18 GMT
Happy winter solstice, all. I'm finding this holiday season (compounded by covid isolation) to be challenging. I would much rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but I admit that it's tough this year. Everything feels heavy. Maybe this means that I'm regressing in my journey toward being secure, I don't know. Sending good thoughts to anyone else who might be struggling.
Happy holidays! I don't think that means you're regressing at all. Being secure doesn't mean never wanting to be in a relationship when you're single... having a good, solid partner and company and physical touch safely when you live alone during the pandemic feels better than total isolation, even just physiologically. It's okay for it to be a tough time to be alone... security means not catastrophizing that you are alone, though, and not feeling like your relationship status is the definition of your identity and existence, or like you'll never find someone, or like you'll never trust anyone or want to even be close to someone. But it certainly doesn't mean never feeling lonely. It's a challenging and heavy time, and more than okay to want to seek out safe connections with loved ones if possible |
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Post by alexandra on Dec 25, 2020 5:05:14 GMT
I'm also excited that tnr9 's FA cat has made another appearance! |
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Post by iz42 on Dec 26, 2020 4:22:44 GMT
Happy winter solstice, all. I'm finding this holiday season (compounded by covid isolation) to be challenging. I would much rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but I admit that it's tough this year. Everything feels heavy. Maybe this means that I'm regressing in my journey toward being secure, I don't know. Sending good thoughts to anyone else who might be struggling.
Happy holidays! I don't think that means you're regressing at all. Being secure doesn't mean never wanting to be in a relationship when you're single... having a good, solid partner and company and physical touch safely when you live alone during the pandemic feels better than total isolation, even just physiologically. It's okay for it to be a tough time to be alone... security means not catastrophizing that you are alone, though, and not feeling like your relationship status is the definition of your identity and existence, or like you'll never find someone, or like you'll never trust anyone or want to even be close to someone. But it certainly doesn't mean never feeling lonely. It's a challenging and heavy time, and more than okay to want to seek out safe connections with loved ones if possible Thanks alexandra. I do think I have moved away from catastrophizing about never finding a serious partner like I used to. I feel pretty hopeful about dating whenever it's really possible again. And I would never expect a relationship to define my identity or existence. It helps to normalize loneliness though. I appreciated what you said about physiological responses to isolation... I feel being alone so much impacts my whole nervous system. I'm trying to just sit with that and let it be what it is. There are difficult moments but I know that it won't last forever. I hope you're having a nice holiday season! |
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