Waiting for my DA partner to break-up with me

Hi Everyone,

I could use some in input on a situation I've (23F) been trying to work through for about 5 months now with my DA partner (23M). For the first 9 months of our 1.5 year relationship, things were great and it seemed almost as though I was exhibiting more DA characteristics than he was (he was exhibiting anxious characteristics more so than I). I noticed the shift in our dynamic when I first started to bring up real issues, like communication, loyalty, and intimacy. He started to withdraw, and has been for the past 5 months. Not surprisingly, all the while, i have become increasingly anxious and had a hard time reeling in my protest behaviors (threatening the relationship, demanding to see/speak to him in moments of uncertainty, etc). My need for reassurance is now constant and unbearable for the both of us, and the more I try to talk about it (very rationally too, following guidelines from the book "Attached"), the more he shrugs it off and withdraws. Our fights and conversations revolve around these core issues in our attachment styles, because they impact how we communicate and bond with intimacy. He seems to be working overtime to be putting distance between us, and I am running in circles trying to figure out how to get back on track. 

So that said. Just last night, my protest behaviors got the best of me and I asked to see his feed on a certain social media app (after having seen something that looked suspicious- hello, anxiety), and he reluctantly agreed but told me he was very upset. He told me to leave, which I did not at first(thinking he wasn't serious), and we sat in silence on our phones for an hour. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and asked him if we could talk about what had just happened. I apologized for asking to see his phone (he views it as an invasion of privacy and I do not do it often), and he told me he had no interest in engaging with me for the rest of the night. I was appalled and hurt at this reaction, and began inquiring MORE, while he barely took his eyes off his phone screen to even look at me, and would not reply to me. I asked him if he wanted me to go, and he said "I don't care". I began to tear up and asked him to please reassure me that everything was alright and that he loved me, to which he replied "no, not right now." That's when my protest behaviors peaked: I grabbed his phone and threw it onto some pillows on the floor. This of course had the opposite effect of what I desperately wanted, which was an emotional reaction. He told me to "leave immediately". I did. He has a habit of stonewalling me whenever we have conflict, no matter who is at fault, and I know I will be left out in the cold for days until he breaks his silence. The silence is terrifying every time, and especially now.

Now I do not know where we stand, but whether he ends things with me or not, my closest friends and family whom I confide it are telling me this is wrong and needs to be ended. I cannot fathom the pain of breaking this attachment, because I know how cold DA's are post-breakup. I'd also like to add that I am very much so a PA, with some secure attachments depending on the styles of others in those relationships, and also have several DA characteristics in certain relationships or at certain times. 

Any insight on what to do next would be helpful! I want to resolve (or end) this the right way, and am always wanting to learn more about why things unfold the way they do and what I can work on within my own attachment style to improve my relationships. 

Edit: I am in therapy at the moment as well. I started seeing a therapist alone every other week a few months ago, when my anxiety in the relationship starting getting worse.