Update on DA partner situation

Hi Natasha its good to be aware of attachment issues and how they often play out in relationships. But be mindful of over allowing bad behaviours and jerk like behaviours when labeling someone avoidant.
When I became aware of attachment issues and how they play out I completely bent myself out of shape to smooth the path for my avoidant ex.
Consequently this would lead up to me having a mini melt down after weeks of stuffing any needs I had down. My avoidant would then pack all his belongings up and leave immediately and go off in his camper van for weeks or months leaving me a mess and full of shame for melting down.
I am not putting this on him as it was me that was bending myself out of shape to accommodate his avoidant ways. It was really bad for my mental health and I completely lost who I was in 2.5yrs of on and off with him.
He would always stay in contact keeping me on the back boiler whilst he was on all sorts of dating sites I later found out.
He had some awareness of his behaviours and tried a little to change.
He would spend hours a day on video games drinking copious amounts of beer to distract himself from reality.
He often said I will try and spend more time with you, but when he actually did it always felt forced like he was doing me a big favour and would huff and puff and look for a reason to go back to his gaming on line with his on line buddies.
This is a man of 46 yrs of age mind. It is now 7 mths since I finally accepted that the relationship was going nowhere, his one foot out the door dismissing attitude had taken enough toll on me. I am still healing from my time with him and wish everyday that I had never met him, even though it was through that relationship that I became aware of attachment theory. This forum and the support I got and hearing my story play out in others was truly the only way I found the strenght to see things for what they really were. I hope you are ok and we are all here to support you. Best wishes Helen x