Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2017 17:40:40 GMT
I thought that I would share my experiences with online dating.
I met someone on Tinder recently and enjoyed messaging them. I asked them to coffee but was very up front that I was still heart broken and looking for friendship and nothing romantic. She wanted to go for dinner and so I agreed. Things were going okay up to this point - perhaps a couple of days of messaging during the day and at night.
Then she sent me a Whatsapp voice message 2 days before the date so that I could hear her voice. Bam! I started to feel like things were out of control and going too fast. Why would she want to hear my voice after a few days of Whatsapping when we hadn't even met yet? I started to dread her messages and she just kept on messaging right through the day and night. I started to feel claustrophobic and like I was drowning.
There was a whole range of emotions that I went through on the day of the date. It was my first date after getting divorced and it was tough. She kept on messaging and seemed to get frustrated when I said that I was nervous about the date. She seemed to need constant contact. By the time I left to meet her for dinner I was over dating and just wanted to run.
I survived dinner and told her explicitly that I wasn't ready for a relationship but friendship was okay. She agreed. There was zero spark from my side and I wasn't sure if I even wanted to be friends but decided to give it more time. I expected things to slow down and for us to hopefully slip into the beginnings of a friendship. Keep in mind that we had been messaging for a few days and had only met once. She messaged me numerous times the day after the date and then the next day. I was crawling out of my skin by this stage and just wanted out! My replies to her messages got shorter and the time between her sending messages to me replying took longer.
Eventually it got to the point that I felt I had to be brutally honest to escape and I told her outright that I didn't want to be friends. She then continued to message me until she eventually left me alone. She just wanted intimate details of why etc. I am not going to open up to you if we have only known each other for a few days and never, ever if you hound me.
At this point I feel shell shocked and have decided not to date in the foreseeable future. I know I hurt her and I also feel really bad about that.
I met someone on Tinder recently and enjoyed messaging them. I asked them to coffee but was very up front that I was still heart broken and looking for friendship and nothing romantic. She wanted to go for dinner and so I agreed. Things were going okay up to this point - perhaps a couple of days of messaging during the day and at night.
Then she sent me a Whatsapp voice message 2 days before the date so that I could hear her voice. Bam! I started to feel like things were out of control and going too fast. Why would she want to hear my voice after a few days of Whatsapping when we hadn't even met yet? I started to dread her messages and she just kept on messaging right through the day and night. I started to feel claustrophobic and like I was drowning.
There was a whole range of emotions that I went through on the day of the date. It was my first date after getting divorced and it was tough. She kept on messaging and seemed to get frustrated when I said that I was nervous about the date. She seemed to need constant contact. By the time I left to meet her for dinner I was over dating and just wanted to run.
I survived dinner and told her explicitly that I wasn't ready for a relationship but friendship was okay. She agreed. There was zero spark from my side and I wasn't sure if I even wanted to be friends but decided to give it more time. I expected things to slow down and for us to hopefully slip into the beginnings of a friendship. Keep in mind that we had been messaging for a few days and had only met once. She messaged me numerous times the day after the date and then the next day. I was crawling out of my skin by this stage and just wanted out! My replies to her messages got shorter and the time between her sending messages to me replying took longer.
Eventually it got to the point that I felt I had to be brutally honest to escape and I told her outright that I didn't want to be friends. She then continued to message me until she eventually left me alone. She just wanted intimate details of why etc. I am not going to open up to you if we have only known each other for a few days and never, ever if you hound me.
At this point I feel shell shocked and have decided not to date in the foreseeable future. I know I hurt her and I also feel really bad about that.
