How long to wait to contact someone? Feb 14, 2021 23:24:56 GMT
Post by trc1962 on Feb 14, 2021 23:24:56 GMT
I went through a friendship type break up that felt more like a relationship break up and have questions. A woman and I were close friends for 6+ months. She has had both hetero and same sex relationships and I am attracted to either. She was my PT and a friendship in time came out of it. She kept in contact with me for a few months through an occassional text and when I reinjured my shoulder I returned to her for therapy. That is when she really kind of chased me and we became close friends. I was not aware of attachment styles, but I wish I had been as it would have been helpful! I was puzzled by a couple of things that happened. She always had little gifts to share with me and one day I reciprocated and she acted weird, like it made her uncomfortable. She would disappear occassionally for awhile and then contact like all was fine and we would resume. We emailed and texted almost daily and hiked and all seemed okay. She disappeared just before Christmas, but sent a text saying "thank you for being in my life" and Merry Christmas. I waited and was frustrated and I sent an email about feeling discarded and I wish I hadn't and didn't handle it well. She texted that maybe we should be apart and so I left it alone, but it was painful. I started digging and found the attachment styles and she is most likely avoidant and I am anxious/secure (I took the test). I am working on me, reading anything I can find and seeing a therapist to be more secure. I have reached out to other friends (as much as one can during covid), but I still hope she and I can have some type of friendship that doesn't crowd her. It has been 5 weeks and I am wondering how much time an avoidant needs to process before I reach out by mailing her an article I want to share. We are older than most on this board, but attachment styles matter and I need advice. Thanks.