Update - a relationship that is working for me

That is lovely to hear and it sounds as though things are unfolding naturally - I find online dating mortifyingly claustrophobic (infact I've never done it but even the thought) so can relate to your other thread. The girl did sound somewhat overinvested too - I think even someone with a secure attachment style may have felt swamped.

Your description of the wonderful growing intimacy would have pretty much described my relationship in the first few years - when no pressure was put on my severely avoidant partner, he became, to some extent able to give and we shared alot of closeness which was wonderful. The crunch came gradually years down the line when real life began to hit and I needed some support from him and to spend more than one or two nights a week at the last minute. This was the first time I was anything other than 100% accepting and until then had been willing to let him come and go so he was in his comfort zone. Things unravelled rapidly at this point but in all honesty until this time I had been walking on eggshells by being so incredibly accepting even when it was hurting me.

I know you are very self aware and have been working on these issues - would you be able to share please some of the ways you have been approaching this and what made you aware of your attachment style and decide to make these changes? Thank