How to reach out for help, care, love ect. Feb 23, 2021 9:18:44 GMT
Post by anne12 on Feb 23, 2021 9:18:44 GMT
How do you learn to get help and care from other people, if you have learned to be strong and manage yourself ?
The cognitive part of the brain can learn to reach out for care even if one did not learn this as a child
The emotional part of your brain has a harder time with this, but if you decide to be with the emotions that comes up when you reach out, then you can do it.
The instinctive part can be difficult to convince that it is okay to reach out and ask for care and that it is okay get care, help and nourishment
It is important to reach out for care from the people with whom, it is possible to get care from. Not all people are able or want to provide care!
There may be shame associated with reaching out. Shame makes us feel wrong. Its in the instinctive part of your brain
The emotional part of the brain and the cognitive part of the brain can say that it is okay to reach out.
But the instinctive part of the brain can say, that you are too demanding, that you are needy, that it's embarrassing, that your friends and your partner will only get tired of you ect.
You can learn to convince the instintive part of your brain, that it is okay reach out by going into therapy, with a therapist who is interested in you. Therapists are like parents for rent.
What you can do yourself is:
Notice how the body reacts, when the mental part of your brain decides, that it is okay to reach out and ask for help.
What reactions comes up in the body?
If you get hard, harsh, angry, if you feel discomfort, if you feel like pulling away, then use the water tank exercise.
By being strong, you can unconsciously signal to others, that you do not need others and you can prevent others from giving you care. You subconsciously signal to others that you can easily manage yourself.
You can try to be aware of, when you are in the being strong mode. It sits in the autopilot.
Where does the more feminine and receptive part of of you sit in the body - were there are more need for care and nourichment?
- Does it sit In the heart, in the stomach, in the left side of your body (if you are the right handed - the left side is the receiving side of your body).
You can also use the coming into secure attachment exercise. jebkinnisonforum.com/post/39952/