This weekend I was able to have a really good talk with mom and we were both able to hear each other...possibly for the first time in decades. The back story is that I made a joke with my brother that my mom thought was rude and presumptuous....but she waited until I was leaving last week to tell me. All the drive home I was out of sorts because I felt she should have asked me my motive before jumping to a conclusion. I had a really good chat with my brother about it the next day and then was able to talk to her about it and now things are good. I feel I am gaining so many tools in my new therapy and with the medication, I am able to take things less personally.
I am so happy to see things are going well for you tnr9 . Relationships with a parent or parents can be some of the most challenging.
Thanks maryisback ....it is still a work in progress...lol. Yesterday I went to my mom’s because she is helping me to alter a bridesmaid dress for an upcoming wedding. While I was there...she said some hurtful things. I did discuss one of them with her...but this is going to be an ongoing challenge between us. I used to wrongly believe that once I understood another person I could influence them...but now I understand that knowledge equals power over my own reaction/behavior....it doesn’t necessarily change anything about the other person. I am in much better shape, but she still pushes those buttons I have had since I was a kid....ie...I did not sleep well at all last night. But today is a new day and I am focused on centering myself and moving forward....which is a huge shift from my old way of handing things with her. How are things with you?
It's so interesting how my thought process is so different. Your "reaction" is to try to influence, where mine is to just run away. My mom has pushed my buttons so much that we really have no relationship anymore. She pushes and I run. I admire you for keeping on and trying to work on things. I can't bring myself to do it, which is obviously a running theme in most of my relationships.
Things are pretty much the same. Contact with my ex is on and off. In the beginning of the pandemic, we started to hang out some, but then I sort of "caught myself" and winded it down. I am pretty sure it's better for him if I don't. Other than that, life is slowly getting back to normal. Actually able to go out with small group of friends, eat in restaurants and the stuff we took for granted before. Everyone is complaining how dating is so tough now, but I have no urge to to date. I will likely remain single for quite some time. I have a bunch of other things that keep me busy. Being busy is the way to avoid my feelings