Post by damian on Apr 13, 2021 21:23:18 GMT
Hi, Everyone.
I am looking for some advice and clarification. A while back I have heard and read about attachment styles and Attachment Theory, how our attachment to our caregivers creates a blueprint for future relations in life. I do not have a lot of knowledge about the subject, but I see the value that it could provide me to find out my attachment style and then try to work through my many attachment wounds. I have tried quite a few online tests, only the free ones, and I'm not satisfied with the results that I get. They seem to be a bit all over the place. Some tests identify me as Fearful Avoidant, some as Avoidant Dismissive(Anxious) and some as Disorganised(Ambivalent). I think a bit of the confusion about the subject comes from the different names of the styles in question that seem to be interchangeable. But from what I understand you can be one of the four:
-Secure
-Avoidant
-Anxious
-Disorganised (mix of Avoidant and Anxious)
I think one of the factors that could also be leading to me getting different results is that the tests often base a lot of the questions around intimate relationships. I don't have much experience in this field, I am about to turn 26, my last significant relationship ended when I was 19. I dated a girl for a brief time about two years ago, but that was very short. I feel like I just don't have enough precise information to feed the tests to give me an accurate result. Or maybe I lack self awareness in this area of life, I don't know. The main reason why I don't, or even try to date is because dealing with all of the pain and anxiety surrounding dating just seems like too much to be worth the hassle. Yet I long for connection and an intimate relationship, and am increasingly realising that dealing with these issues could be very beneficial to me. Not only in the romantic sphere of life, but also in friendships, as well as family life, just to name a few. But to start dealing with them I would first have to identify my attachment style, and here lies to problem that I'm faced with at the moment. I struggle to identify it.
So here I am, asking for some advice about the tests. Do you know of good ones? Although so far I have only tried free tests, I am willing to pay to take a quality test. My guess is that taking one with a psychologist would be a good idea. What is your experience with that route? Also, are there ones that don't focus as much on romantic relationships? Any help would be much appreciated. Also if you think that my understanding of the subject is wrong or inaccurate, please don't hesitate to point it out.
I am looking for some advice and clarification. A while back I have heard and read about attachment styles and Attachment Theory, how our attachment to our caregivers creates a blueprint for future relations in life. I do not have a lot of knowledge about the subject, but I see the value that it could provide me to find out my attachment style and then try to work through my many attachment wounds. I have tried quite a few online tests, only the free ones, and I'm not satisfied with the results that I get. They seem to be a bit all over the place. Some tests identify me as Fearful Avoidant, some as Avoidant Dismissive(Anxious) and some as Disorganised(Ambivalent). I think a bit of the confusion about the subject comes from the different names of the styles in question that seem to be interchangeable. But from what I understand you can be one of the four:
-Secure
-Avoidant
-Anxious
-Disorganised (mix of Avoidant and Anxious)
I think one of the factors that could also be leading to me getting different results is that the tests often base a lot of the questions around intimate relationships. I don't have much experience in this field, I am about to turn 26, my last significant relationship ended when I was 19. I dated a girl for a brief time about two years ago, but that was very short. I feel like I just don't have enough precise information to feed the tests to give me an accurate result. Or maybe I lack self awareness in this area of life, I don't know. The main reason why I don't, or even try to date is because dealing with all of the pain and anxiety surrounding dating just seems like too much to be worth the hassle. Yet I long for connection and an intimate relationship, and am increasingly realising that dealing with these issues could be very beneficial to me. Not only in the romantic sphere of life, but also in friendships, as well as family life, just to name a few. But to start dealing with them I would first have to identify my attachment style, and here lies to problem that I'm faced with at the moment. I struggle to identify it.
So here I am, asking for some advice about the tests. Do you know of good ones? Although so far I have only tried free tests, I am willing to pay to take a quality test. My guess is that taking one with a psychologist would be a good idea. What is your experience with that route? Also, are there ones that don't focus as much on romantic relationships? Any help would be much appreciated. Also if you think that my understanding of the subject is wrong or inaccurate, please don't hesitate to point it out.
