Post by molly on Oct 23, 2017 0:55:28 GMT
I'm coming to realize I am a Anxious person who had a textbook relationship with a DA and it hurts. so. bad.
I was his first girlfriend in six years. He had only been with two people.
He spent most of his late 20s morbidly obese with a food addiction, and miserable at work. Let me tell you...he is OBSESSED with making money. It's his life. He literally manipulates people for a living, and frequently bragged about it.
We were friends for years on facebook, having met at an airport years ago during a layover. I stumbled upon a recent picture of him having lost a ton of weight, and I sent him a message to compliment him. We had always been fairly flirty, but nothing too serious.
He decided that this was his chance to pursue a relationship with me. He flew to see me, and then I flew to see him. On the last day he said he didn't see a future with me
Okay, fine. I went home.
He contacts me a few days later thanking me for something I made him when I stayed with him. I ignore it. He contacts me AGAIN, writing about how much he regrets how things went down and that he wanted to try again.
So we talk on the phone, and are long distance for a few months, and everything is wonderful. He seems absolutely head over heels with me and decides to fly to my city for a 'trial period' of a few months.
I thought everything was great. One night, he sat me down and told me he was unhappy. I freaked out. He marked it up to the dog sleeping in the bed and not sticking to an exercise regime. No biggie, right? Easy fix! The problem was solved, I BEGGED for future communication, and he told me he felt closer to me than ever before. He told me he thought I was the 'one'. He also thought some girl at his previous job was 'the one', so I take it with a grain of salt.
Fast forward eight months. We're living together and traveling the country for his job. His career isn't going where he wants. He has been unable to workout and is gaining a few pounds. Meanwhile, I'm giving him everything I possibly can. I cook, clean, schedule appointments, listen to him rant about people at work for HOURS. I give him my all. I was my best self for this man. I love him, and he frequently assures me that he loves me.
One day, after a particularly shitty day at work, he surprises me at home. Sits me down on my bed and says, "This isn't working out. I've been unhappy for months."
I had NO IDEA. I asked why he never told me he was happy? "I'm a good liar. I do it professionally."
He couldn't give me an answer. He didn't like my dog. I'm too much of an animal person. I'm so empathetic and loving, he says. He told me he thinks he's broken. He told me he really liked when we were long-distance, but living together wasn't working out. Believe me when I tell you that I'm VERY intuitive, and he never let on that there was a problem in any regard.
This man lied to me for months and let me pick out designs for a house I thought we were building for our future.
I was completely broken.
He then proceeds to hop on my computer, cancel all of our connected accounts, and asks if he can come back for his mail later. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
He then leaves with a mumbled "Sorry." He drives back to our apartment across the country and ships my car back, which I guess was the least he could do.
I haven't heard from him since.
If you read this, thank you. I'm sitting here in awe that so many people have experienced almost the exact same thing. I wish I had known about this sooner. Time to work on myself.
I was his first girlfriend in six years. He had only been with two people.
He spent most of his late 20s morbidly obese with a food addiction, and miserable at work. Let me tell you...he is OBSESSED with making money. It's his life. He literally manipulates people for a living, and frequently bragged about it.
We were friends for years on facebook, having met at an airport years ago during a layover. I stumbled upon a recent picture of him having lost a ton of weight, and I sent him a message to compliment him. We had always been fairly flirty, but nothing too serious.
He decided that this was his chance to pursue a relationship with me. He flew to see me, and then I flew to see him. On the last day he said he didn't see a future with me
Okay, fine. I went home.
He contacts me a few days later thanking me for something I made him when I stayed with him. I ignore it. He contacts me AGAIN, writing about how much he regrets how things went down and that he wanted to try again.
So we talk on the phone, and are long distance for a few months, and everything is wonderful. He seems absolutely head over heels with me and decides to fly to my city for a 'trial period' of a few months.
I thought everything was great. One night, he sat me down and told me he was unhappy. I freaked out. He marked it up to the dog sleeping in the bed and not sticking to an exercise regime. No biggie, right? Easy fix! The problem was solved, I BEGGED for future communication, and he told me he felt closer to me than ever before. He told me he thought I was the 'one'. He also thought some girl at his previous job was 'the one', so I take it with a grain of salt.
Fast forward eight months. We're living together and traveling the country for his job. His career isn't going where he wants. He has been unable to workout and is gaining a few pounds. Meanwhile, I'm giving him everything I possibly can. I cook, clean, schedule appointments, listen to him rant about people at work for HOURS. I give him my all. I was my best self for this man. I love him, and he frequently assures me that he loves me.
One day, after a particularly shitty day at work, he surprises me at home. Sits me down on my bed and says, "This isn't working out. I've been unhappy for months."
I had NO IDEA. I asked why he never told me he was happy? "I'm a good liar. I do it professionally."
He couldn't give me an answer. He didn't like my dog. I'm too much of an animal person. I'm so empathetic and loving, he says. He told me he thinks he's broken. He told me he really liked when we were long-distance, but living together wasn't working out. Believe me when I tell you that I'm VERY intuitive, and he never let on that there was a problem in any regard.
This man lied to me for months and let me pick out designs for a house I thought we were building for our future.
I was completely broken.
He then proceeds to hop on my computer, cancel all of our connected accounts, and asks if he can come back for his mail later. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
He then leaves with a mumbled "Sorry." He drives back to our apartment across the country and ships my car back, which I guess was the least he could do.
I haven't heard from him since.
If you read this, thank you. I'm sitting here in awe that so many people have experienced almost the exact same thing. I wish I had known about this sooner. Time to work on myself.
