Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2021 14:45:32 GMT
So, I have been traveling with my boyfriend for about 9 months, we've taken 5 trips together, one international trip. We've known each other a little over two years.
Our first major, international trip was a year in, and while great in many aspects, I thought it would end us it was so hard for us as a couple. Since then I have learned a lot about HSP, and also a lot about myself as avoidant and him, with his various traits/sticking points. We just got back from a 4 day trip to sail/visit with his family and I have a lot of confidence that we are learning to travel well as a couple. No discord or static, it was comfortable between us and other than the shifting emotional sands for me, it was just great. Nothing going on in me disrupted "us". In fact, seeing it all play out and go full circle from feeling close, to feeling disconnected and not attached, to feeling close and bonded again, makes me appreciate him more for the way we have grown together, and for his sweetness, day after day able to bring me love and affection even if I'm feeling disconnected. He is also deeply appreciating our trip, and our relationship, and he seems relaxed and content and satisfied.
I really appreciate and respect the growth we have had, as a couple. Less triggering, more understanding, more acceptance and accommodation, more effort to meet the other where the other is at, both ways. It feels very good, finding success in this facet of life. I feel more whole, and as though I belong to the human family in ways that I never have before.
I am not close with my family because of what has happened over years. We have a very torn and painful family. I was leery of meeting his family, and even after a good start, made some assumptions about the dynamics that were negative. I believe it's conditioned for me to not be able to put my weight on family relationships. So Ive learned to pause my own narrative which is just automatic and has driven so many dynamics (as with all of us). I am letting his family relationships unfold in front of me, and learning from them instead of taking a more avoidant view. I like his family. I like how they are knit. And they have been welcoming of me. They like our relationship and want to be a part of our future. In other words, they are really looking forward to spending future trips with us, we spoke of future potential adventures with his brother and sister in law. I've never experienced such inclusion and being a part of a family like this.
I don't want to be CLOSE close , haha- but we are warm and friendly and kind and supportive and that is perfect. Everyone involved is capable and natural at that.
So, this is for me to read and look back on myself, a journal of sorts as I don't keep one. Just a way to wrap up this travel season.
Our first major, international trip was a year in, and while great in many aspects, I thought it would end us it was so hard for us as a couple. Since then I have learned a lot about HSP, and also a lot about myself as avoidant and him, with his various traits/sticking points. We just got back from a 4 day trip to sail/visit with his family and I have a lot of confidence that we are learning to travel well as a couple. No discord or static, it was comfortable between us and other than the shifting emotional sands for me, it was just great. Nothing going on in me disrupted "us". In fact, seeing it all play out and go full circle from feeling close, to feeling disconnected and not attached, to feeling close and bonded again, makes me appreciate him more for the way we have grown together, and for his sweetness, day after day able to bring me love and affection even if I'm feeling disconnected. He is also deeply appreciating our trip, and our relationship, and he seems relaxed and content and satisfied.
I really appreciate and respect the growth we have had, as a couple. Less triggering, more understanding, more acceptance and accommodation, more effort to meet the other where the other is at, both ways. It feels very good, finding success in this facet of life. I feel more whole, and as though I belong to the human family in ways that I never have before.
I am not close with my family because of what has happened over years. We have a very torn and painful family. I was leery of meeting his family, and even after a good start, made some assumptions about the dynamics that were negative. I believe it's conditioned for me to not be able to put my weight on family relationships. So Ive learned to pause my own narrative which is just automatic and has driven so many dynamics (as with all of us). I am letting his family relationships unfold in front of me, and learning from them instead of taking a more avoidant view. I like his family. I like how they are knit. And they have been welcoming of me. They like our relationship and want to be a part of our future. In other words, they are really looking forward to spending future trips with us, we spoke of future potential adventures with his brother and sister in law. I've never experienced such inclusion and being a part of a family like this.
I don't want to be CLOSE close , haha- but we are warm and friendly and kind and supportive and that is perfect. Everyone involved is capable and natural at that.
So, this is for me to read and look back on myself, a journal of sorts as I don't keep one. Just a way to wrap up this travel season.
