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Post by tnr9 on Nov 25, 2021 5:17:20 GMT
So…I took a bit of a break from posting here…..but this morning, I got into a rather bad auto accident. I was on a highway and was looking to change lanes when the woman ahead of me stopped (there was a bus coming into the lane that people were stopping to let in and I missed that). In any event, it was a split second and I hit her rear left very hard and did pretty bad damage to my front right bumper/fender. Needless to say we were both in a bit of shock…..thankfully neither of us was seriously injured. What has surprised me most is this fear of being judged. At moments it even starts to feel like shame….and I am not 100% certain how to deal with that. This rather irrational perspective that I should be able to do everything right and when I don’t..that it somehow says something about my worth as a person. Tips are appreciated. 🙂
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Post by annieb on Nov 26, 2021 6:08:53 GMT
tnr9 most importantly, are you ok? Regarding shame and the fear of being judged. My therapist brought up a good term that I was able to relate to and understand. The term is exposure. So there are parts of us that we value and want to show the world and then there are parts we are literally ashamed of. And when we tapped into what it is I am showcasing an exposing, and what I am diminishing, it became clear it was a persona that I molded to please my father. And her questions didn't stop there. It was what do I think my father was lacking or having, when he valued or dismissed certain things and why do I think that is. My father died many years ago, so I wouldn't be able to ask, and I am stunned to say the least, but determined to recall enough facts and memories that I can piece it together, maybe, I only have a week for this homework. Soo what is tnr9 exposing? And if she is feeling exposed, what parts are they and where did they come from? And why specifically this idea of being an ultra competent driver with a spotless record (paraphrasing) or else?
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Post by anne12 on Nov 30, 2021 3:06:44 GMT
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Post by tnr9 on Dec 11, 2021 14:38:16 GMT
So…update on the car…..which has been deemed totaled…..today is test drive day. I really, really do not want to buy a car….so I am struggling with motivation and a high desire to procrastinate and avoid…..however, I know this is a good start to tackling my avoiding approach. Adulting is no fun at times…but it is the best path forward since the time machine to undo the accident has not been invented.
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Post by annieb on Dec 13, 2021 16:50:54 GMT
Ooh, car shopping is stressful, but awesome. Get yourself a car that you will enjoy driving, maybe one you always wanted, but never got because it wasn’t practical, or maybe was too practical. I would sit down with all those details and pros and cons and test drive some bad boys.
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Post by tnr9 on Dec 14, 2021 19:08:39 GMT
Ooh, car shopping is stressful, but awesome. Get yourself a car that you will enjoy driving, maybe one you always wanted, but never got because it wasn’t practical, or maybe was too practical. I would sit down with all those details and pros and cons and test drive some bad boys. That is a great point….sooo….as another update….after test driving 2 cars….and the retesting 1 of them….and “shopping around” for price…..I have reserved a car which should be available the 20th to the 22nd. My mom said she was so proud at how I have handled it…and I am proud of myself as well. 🙂 |
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Post by tnr9 on Dec 19, 2021 15:20:30 GMT
Yesterday I went to the collision center and gathered all my items out of my car. Sitting in the car made me so sad. It was such a great car and I was not really ready to say goodbye to it. But I have processed through letting it go and am doing a bit better today.
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