Why are we not just happy? What hinder you for getting joy in your life? What do you bring with you from your family / parents about joy? Are you identified / fused with a parent or ancestor who was not happy? What stories and understanding of you and your life should you let go of to allow more joy? If the big story is that we are here to be free and happy, what little (ultimately indifferent) stories gets in the way for a big story? What do you fill your life with that steals the big story? Worries, fears, busyness, do you fall asleep in life? Other things? What are you afraid of could happen if you were just happy?
Exercise; Every day have an intention to let just a little bit more the enjoyment intp your life. Let enjoyable moments just get a little longer. Be in the present a little more often. Notice and sink into joy, nourishment and enjoyment even more and as often as you can think of it. Put the following affirmation by your mirror / bed; “Today I will allow myself to enjoy, to sense, to be and to receive nourishment. Just for my sake. I will allow myself to receive and open my senses to all the beauty and sensuality that is around me.” (Or make your own in your own words).
You can also record it and listen to it when you wake up. Today, on a scale of 0-10, I have allowed enjoyment & nourishment:
Let the pleasure unfold - be in the now What gives me pleasure and nourishment?
Feel free to fill out a form. Print it if necessary and hang it somewhere where you can refill as often as you can think of new things. What do you find enjoyment in? What nourishes you? In addition to this schedule, you can also consider where else in your life you experience joy, enjoyment, nourishment; job-wise, relationsships ect.
Write your values in a circle, print and put them up so that you are reminded of them daily.
Consider the following; What would it mean for you to live by your deepest values? What should possibly change (be specific) in your life as it is now? Who can you use as a support / witness in your process? What is the first small step you can take? Keep the promise of living your values and meet yourself with tenderness and love when it does not succeed.
Imagine your own funeral You hear church bells, the church is full of flowers, the church is full of your friends and family. Imagine that someone is giving a speech Write the speech you want to be given when you die. What do you want to be remembered for ? Will it be the same speech that could be given if you died tomorrow ? What are you going to do now in order to make them give you the speech you want if you died tomorrow? Write 10 words on postit notes
e.g. Cohesion care presence love
Be aware of your ego - your enagram type. If your values are based from your ego / your enneagram type, then you won’t be really happy !
Souls words (chose words that are not an extension of your enagram type) Enneagram type 9 peace that dwells in my soul 1 acceptance, sacred perfection 2 unconditional love including for yourself 3 authenticity, to listen to the heart 4 whole, I am whole 5 wisdom 6 guided, confident, held 7 the holy now, holy joy 8 surrender, innocence, sacred truth
What do you need to forgive yourself for? What beliefs do you carry with you about who or what you need to be to be good enough?
Write down: Who or what do you need to forgive? What emotions are associated with them? Allow yourself to be with the emotions - Crying, advice, rage ... what is needed?
THE CHOICE - About choosing happiness. Know that happiness is a choice. What conscious / unconscious strategies do you have for not being in the now? Not to be happy? Fill out mind maps and hang them up so that you can see them and train yourself to honor your life by allowing happiness. You deserve it!
Write a mind map or a list: What gives me (more) joy ? What drains my joy ?
Why do you not have to wait to become happy, if you long to be happy again? Or become a little more happy.
Because if you are waiting for a certain mood to appear, you are telling the primitive part of the brain, that you are just NOT happy. You're waiting to be! And it should rather happen today than tomorrow!
But then you want something out of a painful feeling of lack. And it's actually painful, because it's associated with pain to want something you do not have. And do not know how to get. 😟
But think of it this way: You are sad, unhappy, angry, discouraged, etc. Yes, it is how you are feeling and that is how it is (right now). - BUT ... you are also SOMETIMES happy, a little uplifted, hopeful and yes, just neutral. So instead of making your state of mind an either-or, make it a both-and. Then you make room for all of it!
It's a more mature way of looking at one's emotions. A more emotionally mature way, and most of us are actually quite immature in our emotions and our approach to them. Ie. it becomes very black-and-white, either-or, and while you are in the black, you will look for and long for the white, making you even more black. But the white is there all the time. It just does not always dominate.
I worked, as a younger person, with lonely and depressed people, and one of them told me, that she was feeling so bad, that she could not go shopping, and at first I thought that then there was really nothing to do. But then my manager said, "But there are times in the day when she CAN do better."
Our emotions are not stationary. Remember the nuances! And be good to yourself. You are both-and 🙏🏻❤️
An interview with Jon-Roar Bjorkvold and John Collins. Rhythm is part of our natural existence, this documentary beautifully shows many of the concepts that you will find in the Movement Intelligence world.
Can you trick your brain to feel happiness even if you feel depreessed ?
Sometimes we have to accept our feelings and let them run through. The paradoxial change method.
Acording a study where they gave some people who where depressed anti depressant medicine And told the other half of depressive to look in the mirror and smile
The people who were told to look themselves in the mirror and smile could feel happy just by looking themselves in the mirror every morning and smile and say “I love you”. We send signals to our brain just by smiling. We can also straingten our back, as our posture influences our mood.
We humans want to be happy We have even developed a culture where one is almost a loser if we are not happy all the time.
We may think, "There must be something wrong with me, since I am not happy and happy like everyone else is!"
You ARE normal! Because our brain is NOT designed for happiness 24/7.
That is, you should not expect to be eternally happy ... On the contrary, the reward system of the brain is designed in such a way that it takes more and more to achieve the same feeling of joy and satisfaction.
The drug is called dopamine - this is what is at stake in the hot infatuation phase(along with the stress hormone norepinephrine). - this is also what is released if, for example. taking heroin or reaching ones goals. - or just doing something new that goes well, e.g. when I succeed in doing this for the first time in that way.
If you have experienced something that was so difficult that it was overwhelming - and you at the same time has lacked support and loving presence,…. Then trauma energy may have settled in the nervous system. It will close your heart so that love and your happiness are even further away 💔
If you then feel good anyway, and you maybe even open your heart and are happy - the trauma energy will pull you out of happiness ... It's because of something that's really good.
This is because our nervous system is designed to heal trauma by itself!
Healing is done by the system using the resources (the good condition) to draw the energy out of the traumas. Voila! It's super smart, isn 'it? NOT! not if you have so much trauma energy in store that you are never really "allowed" to feel happy and happy (for a long time).
EVERY time I was happy -then I flew back into the trauma vortex and a closed heart instantly or after a short period of time: - Abandonment, sadness, lack of energy and in relationships the direct path to conflict and distance.
As a therapist I have seen this again and again in my clients, course participants and students. It can be a great relief to discover - if you experience something similar - that it is not YOU who is wrong! But the cause is situations and perhaps relationships that have overwhelmed your nervous system. That your nervous system may therefore have gone TOO much out of balance ...
Time does not heal all wounds! It is in this state - that is, when there is too much traumatic energy in the nervous system - that time cannot "heal all wounds." That no matter how long the nervous system works to get back into balance, it can not by itself, if it has gone TOO far out of balance. Although it is designed to heal
What do you do then? We humans are herd animals and heal when we are with present humans.
You may know this from the fact that you may feel more comfortable after a present meeting with a good friend or family member. A shortcut to opening your heart, your joy and happiness is to get help to heal your nervous system. Therefore it can be a good thing to work with a good se/attatchment therapist.
Can shame and guilt stand in the Way of our happiness ?
Guilt and shame Where did we learn about guilt and shame From the Bible ? In Christian culture First in the 3rd and 4th century guilt and shame was introduced
Mary Magdelins contribution to the Bible did not get to be a part of the bible. One of the disible Peter asked Jesus - "so what is the sin of the world?” Jesus said “there is no sin…” - it was never Jesus' intention to inflict guilt - our essence is always good
Mathew Fox was thrown out of the Vatican. He wrote “The original blessing”
The Christian Orthodox Eastern faith does not operate with sin, guilt and shame. It is a western phenomenon
Julia Norwitch -
Can we let go of old beliefs We are still marked by a notion of sickness, guilt and shame
The more I can feel love for myself the more I can feel love and give to others
We must explore our thoughts and language and see where we think, fear, guilt and shame ourselves and others
Shame can kill - If we kill ourselves (if we commit suiside) it may be because we feel guilt and shame Do people get depressions ect because of guilt and shame ?
Notice Where you are talking about sin, guilt and shame and notice how do you judge yourself or others
Especially under the corona pandemic , we can judge others for what they do, say and think
But maybe the world is ready for something new ….?
What do you think ?
A spiritual psychologist, enneagram expert, a course in miracle teascher, a self worth expert/teascher
But if the adrenal glands and / or kidneys are running on an empty tank, it may seem that the choice is completely out of reach 💚💚💚 You do everything you can and think positive thoughts, yet it feels like you are not really happy. Not like deep down. And why do you feel that way when you just have to make a choice to choose happiness?
If you are “kidney tired”, then you lack a life energy that makes it difficult for you to create positive thoughts that lead to joy. Tired adrenal glands can therefore be the reason why you do not feel happy, EVEN THOUGH you think positively 🙏🏼 Your adrenal glands sit on top of the kidneys and their purpose is to handle loads. The adrenal glands are your "stress glands" - they are the ones that produce your various stress hormones such as. cortisol and adrenaline. Conversely, they also produce DHEA and other hormones, which are essential for your happiness and life energy.
Your adrenal glands' production of hormones is very much dependent on your experiences, and not least what thoughts and feelings you have about what you are experiencing. Your mind and your emotions have a direct impact on your adrenal glands and thus your hormones. So yes - it can be hard to keep thinking positively when you can not feel it working and see an effect.
But instead of getting impatient, beating yourself up and comparing yourself to others, give yourself love and care. Good things take time. Your body needs to heal. Be patient and good with yourself so that you can store energy again.
And keep thinking positive thoughts! The positive thoughts are necessary for the adrenal glands to produce good energy-creating hormones 💚💚💚