I made 45 days no contact with my FA ex...he left in a really sudden way (while being very cruel in his comments, cold, and doing some pretty crappy things on the way out) after about one year together and moving in together.
I was ok. I felt empowered. But the next day, and for 4 days since, I’ve felt myself sinking into the deepest, overwhelming darkness of doom and depression. I can’t stop ruminating, I can’t stop feeling hopeless and helpless. Yes, I see a therapist and yes I’m on anti-depressants.
Does this get better? Does this horrible feeling ever go away? Do you ever stop loving them and move on with your life? It’s been two months for me and it’s been waves of up and down, but lately I’ve felt worse than I have in weeks...and it’s just too much. Is he missing me? Is he in pain too? Does he regret this? I can’t ask, and it doesn’t matter anyway. Any advice or support would be appreciated. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
For me, a triggering relationship ending can take me YEARS to get over. My anxiety, ruminating, obsessing and feelings of rejection sometimes have lasted longer than the relationships themselves! But I eventually get over them. Whatever thoughts I have about those exes now don't carry any emotion anymore.
Now that I know more about anxious attachment, I am better equipped to avoid getting involved with people who trigger me, and I seem better able to handle the withdrawl symptoms after a breakup.
I can honestly say I no longer feel any particular way about the FA who left me for another woman who I talked about a lot on this forum 3 years ago. Now, I see them on the streets and I'm like "Oh, hey." It didn't take me years to get over it, either. Ok, maybe like one year, but hey, it's progress!
Two months isn't that long. The more work you put into self care, learning your patterns, healing your past trauma, doing life affirming things, exercising, traveling, whatever, the faster you will feel better. Hang in there!