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Post by anne12 on Dec 20, 2021 7:52:33 GMT
How to stop your inner critic:
Shame has 2 ways to steer you:
By criticizing you: You're not good enough, handsome enough, intelligent enough, successful enough, rich enough, slim enough, entertaining enough, happy enough.
By asking you, "Who do you think you are?
What do you do about these two - your inner critic?
Find out where the critical voice comes from
Tip: Also look into your childhood. Someone may not have said these things to you. They may just as well have been signed to you indirectly
Even though you are probably the harsh voice of the critical voice, examine how it has actually protected you.
Originally.
And now!
You can be sure that its intention is positive.
That it works to take care of you. Even you can be loved
If that is possible for you, appreciate its intention and its great efforts. Maybe it has worked 24/7 without holidays or just one day off
If you are too angry with your inner critic to appreciate it, allow the anger.
Say (you can write it on paper) to your inner critic:
"I'm angry with you all the times you've said that ... .."
"I am so angry that I would like to ..."
Then ask your inner critic to help you be loved and Be a part of the group in a better way
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Post by anne12 on Dec 20, 2021 7:54:02 GMT
Missing the bus
Internal criticism always has an agenda.
Inner criticism forces you to act, think or feel a certain way.
One way to decouple internal criticism is to refrain from responding to this pressure - neither going with it nor against it.
Process: Take a concrete situation where you feel self-criticism.
Agenda: What is the inner critique trying to make you do, think or feel?
Missing the bus: Allow yourself to relax and consciously "miss your chance" to both do what the inner critique wants you to do and do something to go against the inner critique.
Advantage of the method:
Provides a relaxed form of grounding and balance.
Risk of the method:
Be careful that non-activity does not become the new agenda and that you start criticizing yourself for not missing the bus well enough.
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Post by anne12 on Dec 20, 2021 8:00:19 GMT
Own the energy you have borrowed from the inner critique.
You can often find that you are powerless in the face of internal criticism because there is a lot of energy behind this criticism.
One way to decouple inner criticism is to realize that this energy is your own energy.
1. Process: Take a concrete situation where you feel self-criticism - preferably a more demanding, commanding or harsh criticism.
2. Focus on energy: Focus your attention on the feeling of strength, power, vitality and energy in this critique - separate from the content of the critique.
3. Own the energy: Label this energy as your own energy.
4. Receive the effect: Experience how having so much energy in your body has a positive effect on your thoughts, feelings and options for action.
Advantage of the method: Connects you with energy, passion, strength and vitality.
Risk of the method: It is important to avoid that the process develops into a kind of "fight" with the internal criticism, where you fight with whose energy it is
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Post by anne12 on Dec 20, 2021 8:07:09 GMT
Take the diamond out of the snakes mouth.
Self-criticism often consists of a true observation combined with a self-critical interpretation of this observation.
We often accept self-criticism precisely because it is based on true observation.
One way to decouple inner criticism is to separate the true observation from the critical interpretation.
This process is sometimes poetically described as taking a diamond out of the mouth of a poisonous snake without being bitten.
1, Process: Take a concrete situation where you feel self-criticism.
2. Observation: Describe the true observation the critique is based on - separate from the critical interpretation. The observation is just a fact and contains no judgment.
3. Recognition: How does it feel to acknowledge what is true in the situation, separate from the critical interpretation?
4. Learning: What can you learn from the true observation when you can see it clearly - without it being confused with the critical interpretation?
Advantage with this method: Makes it possible to see the situation more clearly. Holds the opportunity to learn to accept facts you may have had a hard time accepting because they were linked to self-criticism.
Risk with this method: If you do not carefully separate the true observation from the self-criticism, you risk justifying and reinforcing the self-criticism
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Post by anne12 on Dec 20, 2021 8:39:58 GMT
Tips to love your body:
Love your body! How do you really feel about your body? Did you know that a good relationship with the body is the fastest way to enjoy your life and be happy, yes happy? Maybe you have a friend where you want the relationship to be really good. What do you do then? Sure you are attentive, sweet and accommodating. You listen to her, ask how she feels and what she wants and you want to fulfill her wishes if you can. Treat your body the same way: Like your very best friend! Nourish your body Use it. Accept it the best you can. Feel it, how is it? Listen to it, ask it what it needs, Follow its needs. Accept compliments. Indulge and celebrate it!
1) You probably already know what is healthy and unhealthy. Whenever you choose to eat and drink what is healthy for the body - you become better friends with it! Don't hit yourself in the head if you sometimes choose unhealthy. Instead, focus on the times when you make the right choice. Every time you make healthy choices, you strengthen your skills for this. It therefore becomes easier and easier the more you do it.
2) Bodies are designed to be used, including yours.
Sitting in front of the computer or TV is not the body's need. Use the body in ways that you like. It increases the chances of you getting it done. Maybe you prefer exercise where you can do it with others - running club, fitness team or skating club. Or maybe you would rather use the body for activities alone, such as putting on good music and dancing around your living room or going for a walk
3) If you don't like your body, it can be difficult. We live in a culture where the beauty norm is perfect. We are bombarded with pictures of beautiful women every day. It can make the most confident person to begin to find fault with his body - we automatically compare ourselves with others, it lies in the unconscious. Practice letting go! If there is something you are unhappy with about your body, find out
1) Can you do something about it - for example, lose weight, do push ups, smile a little more, wear contact lenses instead of glasses
2) Want to do something about it? Want to spend your time and energy?
3) If you can't do something about it or it requires a plastic surgery, then make peace with it! Yes, you have a belly that shows, it is actually healthy and natural/You've got big ears or a special nose, it may be just what gives you extra charm in the eyes of others yes, your feet are as big as your boyfriend's, so move your own and others' focus on those parts of your body that you like better by, for example, using colors, scarves, jewelry, etc. The better you treat the body, the easier you will be by accepting it as it is.
4) Practice feeling your body. What sensations there are in it. In addition to becoming better friends with it - it also positively affects your sex life. You will get better at feeling your body by practicing it, for example: Ask yourself during the day: What am I feeling right now? By feeling the body when you take a bath (the water that hits the body), by putting creams on your body (and feeling it), by noticing your breath, by getting massage, healing and by practicing yoga, for example. , callanegics ect. Some feell bad when they begin to feel the body (which is why they did not). Then you may need to visit a qualified therapist
5) The more you listen to your body - and do what it needs - the more it loves you. The more you can love it, because it buzzes with good feelings!
6) Accept any compliment! When someone says something nice about you and your body, keep quiet and listen. Then say thank you and feel person meant it. Give it time to sink in with you. Even if it can provoke a discomfort. It does, if in reality you miss getting praise and recognition. R
7) Pamper the body - CELEBRATE it! Do some things just to celebrate your body. Ex. Massage, spa, sauna, delicious healthy food, cream, a long walk, etc. The most effective is your attitude! That you do it to celebrate your body.
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