Post by anne12 on Jan 10, 2022 9:39:43 GMT
Skin hunger vs. Skin-saturated.
Skin hunger is a concept I encounter more and more in my practice. Probably because there is more and more talk about it.
I also encounter it often when talking to families with young children. Families where one party often talks a LOT about lack of physical contact, longing and unmet needs.
We have to take it seriously. But… We also need to look at WHY skin hunger occurs in the first place.
When we talk about "warmth" a clear picture often emerges of why one misses SO much that the concept of skin hunger is used. One misses because the other does not accommodate. That is logical. But what is immediately below the logical is often not "looked at".
Namely, WHY the partner does not cater.
It's easy to think that my partner simply does not like me anymore. Or… Maybe my partner no longer thinks I'm delicious, attractive, lovely, worth loving. Yes, maybe you can continue the list yourself?
It is completely natural thoughts that pop up when there are changes in the physical "contact". What we often (not always) but often discover is that the partner suffers from the opposite. Namely skin-saturated 😮 Just as you may have "received too little", you may of course also have "received too much".
Then it's not because you do not want to feel and be close with your partner. No. Then it is because in the first place you want to feel and be close to yourself. Without others. Without physical contact and presence from others. Without requirements, to-do lists and needs to be met.
And that's what we need to talk about.
Often, the skin-hungry partner is HUGEly relieved.. And when we ARE there ... THEN we can start looking at what we can do in a very low-practical way with small measures, so that the saturated skin can be allowed to feel itself again - and thus get a completely natural desire to ALSO be close to the skin-hungry.
A female sexologist/ couples therapist