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Post by daddyspumpkin on Jan 21, 2022 18:42:08 GMT
Hi all,
First time poster here and my question is pretty complex. If my DA/possible narcissist basically PUSHED me to break up with him to where I had to block him and then shows up stalking me at my job (but never gets out of the truck to talk to me, just sits and stares). What would his reaction be to my sending him a note through his co-worker stating “if you don’t leave me alone I will get a restraining order 💋”?
He once said to me over the phone out of nowhere “you don’t tell ME what to do, I tell YOU what to do!” He also knows that I WANT him to try harder, there was a point about a year ago when I unblocked him for 2 seconds about a year ago to ask him why he was watching me from the parking lot (again). He sent a message before I could ask saying that he’s been watching me and that he was sorry for what he did and that he’d make it up to me and that he just needed more time. I wasn’t biting and the whole exchange was redundantly unproductive. I ended up saying to him “whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy” when he tried to say that he was the one that made me stronger.
I haven’t seen him with my own eyes (he always told me he had people watching after me) since I sent the note off a couple months ago.
I thought he would get some kind of sick kick out of my doing that because he loves to fight with people alot and I wanted to be more challenging/not boring for him. What could he be thinking? Will he EVER talk to me again?
Thanks!
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Post by alexandra on Jan 21, 2022 20:15:46 GMT
This is not "DA" behavior. Take anything written where he admits to watching you and keep it together. Then if you or anyone you know sees him at your work in his vehicle, take photos with dates and timestamps as proof. After a few of these, go get the restraining order without warning him. Why put yourself in an unsafe situation with someone emotionally unstable?? No contact and staying far away from this guy are the healthy boundaries you need. Why don't you think you deserve someone better who isn't scary controlling, a potential stalker, and whom doesn't make you wonder if they are a narcissist and have a personality disorder??
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2022 21:14:20 GMT
Hi all, First time poster here and my question is pretty complex. If my DA/possible narcissist basically PUSHED me to break up with him to where I had to block him and then shows up stalking me at my job (but never gets out of the truck to talk to me, just sits and stares). What would his reaction be to my sending him a note through his co-worker stating “if you don’t leave me alone I will get a restraining order 💋”? He once said to me over the phone out of nowhere “you don’t tell ME what to do, I tell YOU what to do!” He also knows that I WANT him to try harder, there was a point about a year ago when I unblocked him for 2 seconds about a year ago to ask him why he was watching me from the parking lot (again). He sent a message before I could ask saying that he’s been watching me and that he was sorry for what he did and that he’d make it up to me and that he just needed more time. I wasn’t biting and the whole exchange was redundantly unproductive. I ended up saying to him “whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy” when he tried to say that he was the one that made me stronger. I haven’t seen him with my own eyes (he always told me he had people watching after me) since I sent the note off a couple months ago. I thought he would get some kind of sick kick out of my doing that because he loves to fight with people alot and I wanted to be more challenging/not boring for him. What could he be thinking? Will he EVER talk to me again? Thanks! I don't know what about stalking behavior made you thing Dismissive Avoidant but this is some next level abusive stuff and you're playing the wrong game if you're trying to be "more challenging/not boring" for him. Wanting to know if he'll ever talk to you again in the face of such dangerous and threatening behavior merits some counseling of your own. Please try to sort out what's going on in your own head because this is very toxic and could cost you your life. It's not a game. |
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Post by tnr9 on Jan 22, 2022 4:05:13 GMT
Hi all, First time poster here and my question is pretty complex. If my DA/possible narcissist basically PUSHED me to break up with him to where I had to block him and then shows up stalking me at my job (but never gets out of the truck to talk to me, just sits and stares). What would his reaction be to my sending him a note through his co-worker stating “if you don’t leave me alone I will get a restraining order 💋”? He once said to me over the phone out of nowhere “you don’t tell ME what to do, I tell YOU what to do!” He also knows that I WANT him to try harder, there was a point about a year ago when I unblocked him for 2 seconds about a year ago to ask him why he was watching me from the parking lot (again). He sent a message before I could ask saying that he’s been watching me and that he was sorry for what he did and that he’d make it up to me and that he just needed more time. I wasn’t biting and the whole exchange was redundantly unproductive. I ended up saying to him “whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy” when he tried to say that he was the one that made me stronger. I haven’t seen him with my own eyes (he always told me he had people watching after me) since I sent the note off a couple months ago. I thought he would get some kind of sick kick out of my doing that because he loves to fight with people alot and I wanted to be more challenging/not boring for him. What could he be thinking? Will he EVER talk to me again? Thanks! Hi there….this definitely sounds more then just an attachment insecurity…..and I agree regarding the advice you have already received. There is a really great forum for individuals who have been in relationship with a narcissist….you can find it here… www.lisaescott.com/forumwhat I found most helpful was the group and individual therapy sessions they offered. |
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