Post by eyesopennow on Feb 1, 2022 5:10:07 GMT
my first time posting on ANY format, I'll try to make it brief.
I've been in a relationship with my person/ significant other for 2.5 years. We both have great jobs, no kids, no one was unfaithful, we didn't argue, we both agree best sex ever...
We could not have been more in sync/ in love at Thanksgiving, then two days after Christmas I packed up all my stuff and took it back to my house.
holy hell, I was SO CONFUSED, started reading books finally read "hold me tight" 100% he is a very intelligent fearful Avoidant.
So I collect my thoughts tell him I'm coming over to talk, he says I'm not there, i go any way and politely suggest he read the book, kind of tell him about attachment styles.
He verbally told me he trust me and feels the deep bond we have and he agrees I'm and intelligent person....
but then i gave him all this attachment information, left him the book he said he would read.
we fooled around, my suggestion, great stress reliever- we chatted about life, work, covid BS
He kept saying "I usually go internally for those things" I said "you've been doing it your way 46 years, try it my way JUST once, its your internal voice that is screwing you over"
He said he would read it.
but now what do I do? that was 10 days ago
seems cruel to not send him text but he seldom responds... or laughs at funny memes.
basically he took me to the airport to go help a friend 2 days after Thanksgiving, most romantic kiss in public ever, i even commented about it he said "i don't like it when you leave"
a switch went off in his mind, and he was a total ASS to me the 2 times I stayed at his house in December, when i said hey come on we have to talk about this, what the heck is bothering you...
He got incredibly angry yelled about stuff almost in tongues, it made no sense. I told him i would gather my stuff and leave in the morning, i went to bed he actually kissed me on the forehead when he went to work the next morning knowing I was leaving. ( I see now WHY I was so dang confused, i swear I thought did he have a stroke?, did i have a stroke?- it was SO BIZARE)
people talk about NO CONTACT that seems so mean to not remind him im here, I care about you...
I've always texted him more than he text me, he said he liked it.
I'm secure
I called my Mother and thanked her (dad is no longer living)
although reading about what the fearful goes through I have too much empathy... it actually made me anxious, and so sad.
He is super smart but an over thinker.
How long do i give him to reach out?
I've been in a relationship with my person/ significant other for 2.5 years. We both have great jobs, no kids, no one was unfaithful, we didn't argue, we both agree best sex ever...
We could not have been more in sync/ in love at Thanksgiving, then two days after Christmas I packed up all my stuff and took it back to my house.
holy hell, I was SO CONFUSED, started reading books finally read "hold me tight" 100% he is a very intelligent fearful Avoidant.
So I collect my thoughts tell him I'm coming over to talk, he says I'm not there, i go any way and politely suggest he read the book, kind of tell him about attachment styles.
He verbally told me he trust me and feels the deep bond we have and he agrees I'm and intelligent person....
but then i gave him all this attachment information, left him the book he said he would read.
we fooled around, my suggestion, great stress reliever- we chatted about life, work, covid BS
He kept saying "I usually go internally for those things" I said "you've been doing it your way 46 years, try it my way JUST once, its your internal voice that is screwing you over"
He said he would read it.
but now what do I do? that was 10 days ago
seems cruel to not send him text but he seldom responds... or laughs at funny memes.
basically he took me to the airport to go help a friend 2 days after Thanksgiving, most romantic kiss in public ever, i even commented about it he said "i don't like it when you leave"
a switch went off in his mind, and he was a total ASS to me the 2 times I stayed at his house in December, when i said hey come on we have to talk about this, what the heck is bothering you...
He got incredibly angry yelled about stuff almost in tongues, it made no sense. I told him i would gather my stuff and leave in the morning, i went to bed he actually kissed me on the forehead when he went to work the next morning knowing I was leaving. ( I see now WHY I was so dang confused, i swear I thought did he have a stroke?, did i have a stroke?- it was SO BIZARE)
people talk about NO CONTACT that seems so mean to not remind him im here, I care about you...
I've always texted him more than he text me, he said he liked it.
I'm secure
I called my Mother and thanked her (dad is no longer living)
although reading about what the fearful goes through I have too much empathy... it actually made me anxious, and so sad.
He is super smart but an over thinker.
How long do i give him to reach out?