Post by anne12 on Mar 30, 2022 2:21:21 GMT
More about the Sympathetic vs Parasympathetic Responses:
With sympathetic nervous responses, the body speeds up, tenses up and becomes more alert. Functions that are not essential for survival are shut down. Following are the specific reactions of sympathetic nervous system:
increase in the rate and constriction of the heart
dilation of bronchial tubes in the lungs and pupils in the eyes
contraction of muscles
release of adrenaline from the adrenal gland
conversion of glycogen to glucose to provide energy for the muscles.
shut down of processes not critical for survival
decrease in saliva production: the stomach does not move for digestion, nor does it release digestive secretions.
decrease in urinary output
The parasympathetic nervous system counterbalances the sympathetic nervous system. It restores the body to a state of calm. The specific responses are:
decrease in heart rate
constriction of bronchial tubes in the lungs and pupils in the eyes
relaxation of muscles
saliva production: the stomach moves and increases secretions for digestion.
increase in urinary output
If your sympathetic nerveus system gets activated - speeder - fight/flight, it is important to burn some of the released stress hormones and the energy by:
Use your body, do exercise, jogging ect.
Do the water tank exercise, let the energy run down and out through your arms, fingers, legs and feet
Do things that makes you feel good:
Taking a shower/bath,
Talking to good friends and family (about something else!)
Walk/be in the nature
Listen to music and danse
Watch a good movie
Paint a picture or be creative in any other way
Do anything, that can bring you back into balance
NB! It is NOT recommended to lie down in this state, because you will have a tendencie to regrediate and get flooded with negative thoughts and emotions. It´s the encaputulated child/encaptulated part of yourself that can get activated in this position.
If on the other hand, your parasympathetic nervous system gets activated (brakes) freeze:
Find out, that you are in the encapculated child/the encaptulated self state of mind (freeze)
Give your self accetance for beeing in this state
If possible find something that can bringe you joy and grounding
Think of your favorite secure object/person or a safe place ect. that brings you joy
If you had an argument with somebody/your partner, imagine that you are talking in a nice way again
Use Gris Criscoms color meditation if you are angry or affraid of the person/your partner or if you need protection from somebody, who drains your energy:
Imagine a cloud of white light over your head
On inhalation imagine the light flows down through the center of your body
On exhalation, imagine that the light flows out of SolarPlexsus and over to the other (the one that is negative, angry, etc.).
Call a therapist or a friend who can kick you back into your adult self
Write a letter to yourself
If nothing works, take a couple of days apart from the person/your partner
Practise Leonard Jacobsens two chair anger meditation
Also check Peter Levines exercises to get the energy back
Post by anne12 on Apr 12, 2022 9:58:17 GMT
Maybe you are feeling discomfort and stress when your partner approaches you, or you get anxious, when your partner is about to leave for a few days.
Feel the pain, lean into it and stay with it for as long as you can in a managble way.
It is not about getting overwhelmed but stay with that growing pit in your stomach, the slight headache, the tension in your chest or sholders and the sense of dread as it comes on.
Try this before you use your usual self care strategies.
Locate the discomfort in your body.
Where is it exactly ? Does it stay in one place, move around, come and go ?
Remember that the discomfort isent about your partner, but your attachment history!!!
Thats the source of your discomfort. If you notice any resistance to this step, it is okay.
Just notice the sensations that arise from the resistance. Are they different form your original discomfort ? What are they like ?
Feel what's happening now in your body.
Regonise these feelings as your attachment history showing up the only way it knows how to. Say hallo to it.
Give it a seat at the table.
Open your heart to it, an hear what it has to say. What does it want to tell you ?
Check in with your body again. Has anything changed ? Has the sensations become stronger or weaker ? Have they moved somewhere else in your body ?
Do you note any different sensations in your body ? Associated with relaxation and well-being ?
Welcome what ever shows up with kind attention.
If things becomes too intense, it's okay to stop
You can switch to an activity that gives you stability - a ressource that brings you relief and regulation.
Compassion with yourself is important
Post by anne12 on Apr 13, 2022 6:09:57 GMT
Why do anger exercises ?
It works on the instinktive level - below the heart chakra = solar plexus, root chakra and hara chakra.
Unfortunately, there are many spiritual people who skip or displace their 3 lowest chakras. It's a shame, because with the 3 integrated, the top 3 can unfold fully when the heart is allowed to create balance between top and bottom!
The intention :
When we use anger meditation, the intention is to create a transformation of anger - NOT of the person who we are angry with.
Since energy follows intention, the energy will NOT hit the person on whom you practice anger meditation!
The body has to keep the anger until it can flow through
We work with the anger that is already stored in the body! So what we do energetically is that we very briefly give the body / the instinctive level the opportunity to release and transform the already existing anger in the body back to life energy and get out of powerlessness and into control / free choice. Anger that may have been there for 40-50-60 years!
Even if you do not have conscious thoughts or feel the anger in everyday life, the body has still carried it around.
When is the method used?
Anger meditation is especially good for ambivalent / nervous attatched. whereas dismissives will find it strange. Disorganized people can also benefit from it, but can become overwhelmed. They typically need one or more competent protectors along the way.
The meditation is used for 30 days, 5-10 minutes every day and then as needed.
Ie. every time you get annoyed, angry, upset or you resign.
In short, the method involves taking back your power, your vitality and energy. The ambivalent is a master at being in the role of victim.
The way back to rest in oneself and be safe in love and life in general is to take ownership of anger (power), not to use it to have power over anyone, but to stand by oneself and rest in oneself .
Anger is one of the most misunderstood and thus mistreated in our modern life.
When we talk about anger, there are two important misconceptions that need to be deleated:
- That you have to get rid of anger
- That you have to get rid of the anger by acting out
Both misunderstandings very often lead to the fact that if you practice them, you get a moment where you feel stronger. But in the long run, the two misunderstandings actually build up anger, and worst of all, strengthen the victim role.
In the case of the disorganized attachment pattern, there is a high risk of building up the trauma energy, rather than reducing it. It's like peeing in your pants to keep warm. Immediately nice, but then later much more uncomfortable.
The ambivalent / nervous attached will typically try to change others with anger or come to turn the anger towards themselves and thereby lose their self-esteem.
Both are dead ends.
Two chair angeexercise:r
Put your ex or another person on a chair in your room.
Your body decides how far away you want the person.
If you are scared of the person you can bring in resources, e.g. 2 policemen/2 members from hells angels who can stand on each side of the person.
If it is a weak person you can bring in resources e.g. the persons parents, partner, angels ect. to stand by the person.
You can also bring in resources for yourself. Imagine a grandmother, animals, your children, a friend, your therapist to stand by your side.
Do the two chair exercise.
Say out loud: (even if IT feels wierd)
What did He say, do, dident do, dident say ?
Do not Make assumptions, because This puts you in the victim role. You cant REALLY know what the other was Thinking, why the other person did what her/she did.
I am angry at You That You never answared when I asked You about xxxx
I am angry at You about All the times You just left the room when I was talkning to you
I am angry at You That You critised my looks
I am angry at You All the times That You asked me why do You do This and That...
How does IT feel in your Body eg is your Heart pondering, your stomac, your throath ect.
Stay with the sensations.
2) Then allow your Body to do what the body wants You to do.(kick, push, spit, shake ect.)
Say: "I am so angry at You That I just want to shake You..." Do the movement in slowmotion. Or hit him in slowmotion.
How does IT feel in your Body now?
Is there a Shift in your Body/in your breathing ?
Then You Will Get back into Power.
Its a process You can use as a detox 5-10 minutters every Day for 30 Days.
This connects to your unconcious.
Be precise, concrete, Be carefull That You do not talk as a victim.
If This exercise builds Up your anger after one week, then look at your sentences and change Them.
IT is just about getting started.....
Before getting started You can say to the sadness, That IT is okay, sadness You are allowed to Be here right now That You are here...ect.
Okay worry You are also allowed to Be here right Now
Okay anger You are allowed to Be here right now.
Just allow what ever feeling/sensation That is coming up.
This exercise Will Get your nerveussystem to land and release some of your lifeenergy.
Anger is just natural, when we do not Get our needs met or we do not set our boundaries respected.
Do You think one of your Friends would Be angry if they were You ?
IT is not about rage, hitting pillows, screaming ect. This Will only build Up more anger, and IT is not about building Up anger But about Get IT transformed into lifeenergy.
IT can Be like poison if You are angry at yourself and IT can drain your lifeenergy. Every time You are getting angry at yourself do the above exercise instead
You can also think about what have happend earlier in You life, that made You allow being treated This way. What is your own history...
Also use This exercise with other People - your Friends, You boss, your parents even your kids.
If You are getting overwhelmed or starting feeling some angst/anxiaty, pause and do the water tank exercise. jebkinnisonforum.com/post/31863/
We do not heal when we are getting overwhelmed.
Be aware of your breathing, grunding to the chair with your sitting bones, legs and feet in the floor. Fell the sensations in your body, the shift in you breathing aso.
Maybe the person in the chair changes into one of your parents! Do the exersice again with one of your parents. One parent at a time. Again if you need to set a boundarie, use your hand and arm in slow motion.
If it's too overwhelming for your nervous system to hit, kick ect. at one you are angry at, you can imagine someone else doing it for you. It still needs to happen in slow motion, so that the old part of the brain can integrate.
You can letvout sounds, grawl ect.
Regarding screaming, it does not work if it is a cry of powerlessness. You risk being retraumatized.
The same can happen by acting out, hitting pollows, ect. as some therapists recommends, e.g. in gestalt therapy.
It can retraumatize you and your nervous system can get more out of balance.
People with trauma or disorganized attachment style need to pay special attention and be extra cautious
Remember titration - small steps is important!
What to do if you start to cry when doing this exercise .`?
Tears are ALWAYS welcome. If they get you away from the anger, you can spend a moment allowing them to be there but not decide and then return to the anger.
Tears can be a sign of Grief, Missing, longing, lack of fulfillment of needs e.g. to feel loved, Compassion (with oneself), A way to get rid of overwhelm / tension in the nervous system, Abandonment (that the other is hopeless)
Some people get tears when they get (very) angry - it is a way for the nervous system to regulate the tension
3) After these exercises, maybe (and hopefully) you will get the feeling in the body, that you want to reach out. Do it with your hands and arms reaching out like a todler/a baby would do, while imagening the person sitting in front of you. This exersice makes you being able to reach out for what you want in your life and in your lovelife.
If now the other would / could do anything the body could think of, what would the body want from him / her?
Imagine that you get something from the other person what your body would like to recieve.
Feel it in the body
Integrate the feeling into the body = Give the body all the time it needs to absorb this state. Let it into every little cell
Remember 5-10 minutes every day for 30 days