Tips for fa/desorganized incl. SE tools

The watertank exercise

SE
The watertank exercise:
All attatchmentstyles - also for the dismissive when they begin to come out of their numbness)

This exercise is developed by some of the leading attatchment/trauma/SE/body experts in the world:

Think of a lightning that connects to the ground.

If we are exposed to a chock or something that is overwhelming, adrenaline is released quickly and automatically a portion of energy in the body, so that we can fight or escape. If you have not had the opportunity to respond to the event, then that amount of energy can be locked in the body - you've got a trauma. This energy causes imbalance in the nervous system and can lead to various symptoms. Fortunately, you can free up the energy by unloading and regulating the nervous system.

If you do, you call it self-regulation. One of the ways you can do it, is based on the water tank model. One uses a water tank as a picture of the body. The water symbolizes the energy. The ambivalent / nervous and disorganized attatched has difficulty controlling the autonomic nervous system itself. So if you have any of these types of attatchmentstyles, it will be a great investment for you to train and use these "water tanks" activities. IT can help the ambivalent to stop overthinking ect At the same time, it will be hard for you to get flow in these exercises. Your nervous system typically needs a person who can already regulate himself. One with a more secure attachment or possibly a trauma therapist. When you know how to do it, you can practise everyday.

WATER TANK MODEL: If you fill more and more water in a water tank and it has no drainage, the pressure in the tank will rise and it may be close to bursting. What do you do? Well, you can drill holes in the water tank. In these holes you put water hoses to water out and water pressure may fall. Same with our body: When there is too much trauma energy in the body, the pressure / excitement rises. The water hoses can be compared to our arms and legs. This way, energy that is bound to the symptoms can leave the body. Then the pressure / tension decreases and the symptoms ease. In addition, the energy gets a larger space to distribute itself and the pressure / excitement becomes smaller.

However, the water hoses may be blogged, so that the water is difficult to drain.

Then clean the water hoses, so that the water can flow freely. Similarly, in the body can be found blockages in our arms and legs that prevent the free flow of energy. Typical blocking sites are in joints (especially knee).

It is therefore beneficial to move your joints quietly to loosen them and thus loosen the blockages. Rarely, energy can be blocked, where the nerve protrudes from the arms and legs.

That is, in the upper part of the back (arms) or at the lower back (legs). If you are having trouble feel the feelings in your arms and / or legs after you have loosened the joints - then the blockage presumably where the nerve originates from the spine.

Another way to get the energy flowing freely is by touch. The hardest part by this, is to remember to use it in the situation! The activity helped tsunami victims in India in 2004 to regulate their nervous system and get healed symptoms again after just an hour's SE trauma session including touch (there were no resources for multiple sessions). As there was acute trauma, the healing was obviously, clearer, faster and easier than if you have trauma of older date. Though you have no trauma, it will be a good activity to gain more ownership of the body and to to cope with more pressure and stress in your everyday life!

A locked survival energy in the body produces imbalance. As life naturally gives some knubs, the imbalance can gradually be so great that you develop symptoms. Like a pendulum that gets too much speed and can not settle by itself.

It gives much relief and an easier life when you get the frozen energy solved.

Sometimes you need the help of an (SE) trauma therapist before the energy can be landed properly.

Self regulation of ANS = the nerveus system (Watertankexersice) - mini exersice: Prevents the aftermath of chocks, stress ect. (All attatchmentstyles, but expecially good for AP´s, FA´s or people with some traits of AP or FA)

(give this exercise about 12 min. - after some practise you can do it faster)

Sit on a hard chair, breathe in and out 3 times. Feel the chair supporting you, feel your sitbones, thies, legs and feet. If you cant feel your seat knots, move your hips from side to side. Move your feet, toes. If you can not feel your feet, move your toes and feet. You can lift your leg and puch your leg out one by one (like a child being born on the way out of the birth canal). Sence the sensations. Feel your seat knots, legs and feet. Can you feel the rest of your body? It is okay if you can not feel the rest of your body. Rest your arms on your thies. Feel your arms your underarm and the upper arm. Then feel your hands. If you can not feel your hands, move your fingers. Look at your hand palms and move your fingers. Let the energy/sensations move down through your arms and legs.

Notice your body - the shift in your body and in your breathing.
Maybe you feel heat or cold that runs out through your arms and hands or/and legs and feet, or a shaking, leaning, vibrate or electricity, champange bobbles, tingeling ect. Also feel what effect it has on the rest of the body: the stomach, chest, breathing etc. (Is there more room than before? Or easier? Has it cleared?)

What effect does it have on your mood? (Have you arrived more into the precent? Easier? When you get more in touch with yourself, you may also become more sad, angry ect...)

What effect does it have on your thoughts? (Are they quieter?)

If you can´t get the enegy moving, your joints can be blocked. Look at the decription below, on how to release the blocks.

Self-regulation - legs:

You do not have to close your eyes. You only need that, if you find it hard to feel something. If you are used to meditate and / or feel the body, it is best that you have your eyes open and have 70% of your attention to the body. Then, the body can do a lot better work, because you do not disturb it (by trying to control the energy and the body). You can read the instructions as you do the activity.
Brand means in this context that you send your attention to the given area, and
just curiously register as objectively as possible, what you sense. Just do not try to relax
or feel something specific or analyze what you feel or why.

· Start by feeling your legs and feet. As a woman, it is also beneficial to feel the sead knots
(women usually ground through this part of the body)
· Move the toes and feet (one foot at a time) slightly while you feel your feet
· Then feel both feet and legs
· Has it been easier to feel your feet and legs?
· You can move your feet a little more
· Move your knees back and forth, one at a time - as you simply feel
· Notice the legs and feet again
· Move the hip joint one at a time
· Feel legs and feet
· Maybe you feel heat or cold that runs out through your legs and feet or a shaking, leaning,
vibrate or electricity, or that the anxiety leaves the body
· Feel both legs and feet, AND at the same time what effect it has on the rest of the body: The stomach, chest, breathing etc. (Is there more room than before? Or easier? Has it cleared?)
· What effect does it have on your mood? (Have you gotten more present? Were easier? Then you get more in touch with yourself but you can also get more sad, angry or ...)
· What effect does it have on your thoughts? (Are they quieter?)
· If you still do not feel, repeat the movement of the different joints sometimes quietly and with attention
o Test it with eyes closed
o Help your body awareness by putting your hands on the joints
o It may be quite effective to do the activity together with others, especially if they are good at
beeing be present and pay attention to their own body
o If you have used this activity for a few days, and still do not feel anything, then there can be
a blockage in the nerve at its source (lower back)

Self-regulation - arms:

You do not have to close your eyes. You only need that if you find it hard to feel something. If you are used to To meditate and / or feel the body, it's best that you have open eyes and only use approx. 70% off your attention to the body. You can read the instructions as you do the activity. Brand still means that you send your attention to the given area, and just curiously register as objectively as possible what you sense. Do not try to relax or feel something specific or analyze what you feel or why.

· Start by feeling your arms and hands
· Look at your hands and move your fingers
· Move the wrist (one at a time) as you feel your hands
· Then feel both arms and hands again
· Has it been easier to feel them?
· You can move your hands a bit more - look at them too!
· Move the elbows back and forth, one at a time - as you simply feel
· Notice arms and hands again
· Move the shoulder joint one at a time
· Feel arms and hands
· Maybe you feel heat or cold that runs out through your arms and hands or a shaking, leaning,
vibrate or electricity
· Now feel both arms and hands, AND at the same time what effect it has on the rest of the body: the stomach, chest, breathing etc. (Is there more room than before? Or easier? Has it cleared?)
· What effect does it have on your mood? (Have you arrived more? Easier? When you get more in touch with yourself, you may also become more sad, angry or angry ...)
· What effect does it have on your thoughts? (Are they quieter?)
· If you still do not feel, repeat the movement of the different joints sometimes quietly and with attention
o Test it with eyes closed
o Help your body awareness by putting your hands on the joints
o It may be quite effective to do the activity together with others, especially if they are good at beeing precent and in their body
Be present and pay attention to the body
o Use this activity for some days. If it dosent work, there is probably a blockage in the nerve at its source (upper part of the spine)

Then do the water tank exercise (the first exercise) again:
Sit on a hard chair, feel the chair supporting you, feel your seat knots, legs and feet. Move your feet, toes. Rest your arms on your thies. Feel your arms and hands. Look at your hand palms and move your fingers. Let the energy/sensations move down through your arms and legs. Notice the shift in your body and when your breathing gets more relaxed.

Just accept the different sensations in your body. Accept the feeling that comes up. How does it feel to be you right now.

You can use the exercise if you can feel that you are going to cry. Also you can use it to stop overthinking, stress ect.

When you know the exercise well, you can use it anywhere - the short version. (Sitting bones, legs and feet grounding and wickle your toes). (Its energy work and not meditation)

Play with the senses exersice: (all attatchmentstyles)

This is an effective way to get into the precent!
It can also train your sensuality, and it's so valuable in your love life!

The sense of sight:
· Close your eyes and put your hands over your eyes for a moment. Feel the eyes and the little muscles around the eyes
· Remove hands and open your eyes slowly
· Let your eyes look gently wherever they want. Do not stare, but let the visual impressions come to you
· Just notice, that you are letting your eyes look, wherever they want
· Use "looking gently" in your everyday life!

Hearing:
· Notice the sounds around you without straining you. Let the sounds come to
you
· Just "watch" the sounds. You should not analyze, what they are or why, or if you
like them or not
· What do you notice right now inside you?

Taste:
· Use your attention when you eat and drink (also, yes, especially your
snacks, sweets, snacks, and beverages)
· Do not do anything when you have something in your mouth! So no TV, PC or
reading. Also try to eat in between without talking
· Notice what you have in your mouth. How does it feel in the mouth and with
tongue. How are you biting? How does it taste?

The sense of smell:
· Stitch your nose in everything around you and smell. What does it smell like?
· The world is rich in fragrances. Examine them and do not limit yourself to assess,
what you like and do not like. Smell to yourself, others and everything around you ...

The sense of touch:
· Examine everything around you: How does this feel when I touch it? Is it
soft, hard, hot, cold, clumsy, sticky etc.
· How does it feel on different parts of the body: the hands, lips and perhaps other areas of your body?
· Also notice the air against your skin, for example the face and perhaps the arms

Into the now - exercise: (all attatchment styles)

If you are fully present in the present, there is only love, peace and happiness. It's rare that we can enter 100% into the now, but less can also make a big and positive difference:

Sit on a chair and register with your senses. What do you hear? What do you sence? What do you see? But do not analyze or evaluate - just describe them objectively inside your head.

Next step: Imagine being in the center of the world. That you are here and the world is around you. Allow the feelings you have to be there, but no more than that. Recognize them, but do not let them overturn you.

Pendulation - SE

(All attatchmentstyles - But also helps dismissives go from their head down in their body and Up again) This is an SE exercise/technique.

This is a good and simple activity for the release of locked energy, which you can use in your everyday life.

It is called pendulation because you swing between two modes. You really switch between resources (R +) and something that is difficult or uncomfortable (R-). It relieves some of the trauma energy in the nerveussystem. It is the natural way of the nervous system to relieve traumatize energy. The art is, only to short "greet" the negative, and then dwell more on the resources.

Pendulation:

This activity allows you to start practicing while you are relatively undisturbed. Once you've been trained in making it, it's great to do anywhere and at any time. And of course especially if there's something that bothers you.

Feel the place in the body, that does not feel strange. If you absolutely can not feel the place in the body that is uncomfortable or just excited, just think about the situation which is (a little) challenging for you (R-)
Find a place in the body where it feels more comfortable R +
Then you change your focus between marking R + and then marking R-
You must focus most on R +
Many times just say hi to R- and go quickly back to R +
If there is much energy in R-, then do not feel the area itself, but just feel the edge of the area
If you can not feel the body or anything else in the body, then it is to uncomfortable, imagine doing one of the things that usually give you a good feeling. And use this as R +.

jebkinnisonforum.com/post/13028/
The power of touch

The power of Touch: (all attatchment styles)

Touch is a basic human need. When we come into the world we are supossed to be touched, given kind and caring eye contact and beeing met with a soft tone of voice from our parents.

In SE therapy/trauma and attatchment therapy, they often use touch in a way to get the client feel supported and getting the nerveus system to regulate back into secure state.

This is another way to get the energy flowing freely. The hardest part by this, is to remember to use it in the situation! The activity helped tsunami victims in India in 2004 to regulate their nervous system and get healed symptoms again after just an hour's SE trauma session including touch (there were no resources for multiple sessions). As there was acute trauma, the healing was obviously, clearer, faster and easier than if you have trauma of older date. Though you have no trauma, it will be a good activity to gain more ownership of the body and to to cope with more pressure and stress in your everyday life!

Work with a partner/friend/therapist:

Sit on a chair, feel your sit bones, legs and feet.

Be precent - experience how it feels to be touched right in this moment..

In therapy the therapist asks the client if it's okay if they touch the client and tell them where on the body they are going to touch.

Let the other person move slovely and soft. You can tell, when the other person can move their foot or hand again. Let the bodypart tell, not the head.

Some people do not like to be touched (often the desorganized). Or they can say yes to be touched, but their body says no. They can override their own boundaries because they can't feel them (a part of them are desociated) or they have been used to other people overriding their bodies boundaries.
If they are having trouble with touch, then
let the other persons hand/foot be 5 cm or so above the bodypart, that you want to get touched. (And move slowly closer if the person likes it - otherwise don't move closer)

Tell your partner, where you want to be touched. You can tell, when the other person can move their foot again. NB! The body will tell, not the head!!!!

On the top of one of your feet - slovely and soft.
On one of your knees.
On one of your elbows
On your upper arm
On the lover part of your back/the sacroiliac joint
On the shoulder and the shoulder joints
On the upper part of your back/your neck
On the back of your head

Take in the nurturing contact of beeing touched. Feel the sensations in your body and the shift in your body and the shift in your breathing

The disorganised (FA) and sex:

They can often have exstreme sex:
being promisquious, bsdm, S/M, over/underdog dynamics, or they can be scared of sex. Some can be very sexual/sensual.

People often say, that it is the best sex they ever had, having sex with a person with some desorganised attatchmentstyle.

They can be promiscuous.
They can be scared of sex
You can use it as confirmation and be uncritical about who you are having sex with. You can have sex with many people
Through sex they can experience closeness.
Power / powerlessness. Bondage, s / m sex ect.
Pain can be a way to relive past traumas. One may have a tendency to maintain the high nervous system arousel when having extreme sex. If the tension goes down, they may believe, that they are dying on the instinctive level. Sex with a secure person can feel boring.

Shame vs. shamelessness
Sex can be grounded with shame. Some are ashamed of their body. Also if you had been sexually abused.
Or some may be shameless.
You are shameless to yourself if you are being promiscues.

Because of their unregulated nerveussystem, sex often has to be more exstreme before they can feel anything.

Sex can also be a way to discharge ans.

Kidney/adrenal exercise:

Your kidneys and adrenals are the little powerhouses of the stress response. When we go into a stress response, they activate and react severely to the stimulus (the stressor), by contracting and secreting your main fast-acting stress chemical – adrenaline.

If the stress continues, cortisol, another major stress hormone, releases into the bloodstream.

If our stress level stays elevated for too long, and we don’t come down and out of the stress response, these chemicals, both adrenaline but especially cortisol, become toxic to the body systems. This continual secretion of cortisol is what, over time, creates adrenal fatigue, burnout, and in the worst case scenario, autoimmune conditions and other conditions that have inflammatory characteristics, such as ulcerative colitis, fibromyalgia, chronic skin conditions, and other debilitating ailments that leave a person in ill health.

Many of our classic chronic conditions in the Western world are a direct result of this stress response being always on, the chemicals never re­-absorbing back into the body, and the body not being able to repair fast enough to keep up with the breakdown.

THE REPAIR:
To get to the ROOT cause of this excessive secretion of our stress chemicals, it makes sense to go to the place in which the chemicals are released, and that is at the actual kidney/adrenal interface.

Healing the body tissues, organ systems and chemical pathways of our body.

This is what we are doing when we work at the level of the kidney/adrenal interface.

You are literally asking and giving those little organs and glands THE PERMISSION to COME DOWN. You are demanding (in a nice friendly way) that they lessen their grip, and release and relax.

The more you can tap into this kidney/adrenal interface and speak to it, the more you are able to bring regulation and ease back into your nervous system.

Work with a partner:
There are a few ways to do the K/A work with a partner. One, is to do it from the side and to just work 1 side at a time. The person with active touch can place one hand directly on the kidney underneath, and the other hand on the torso/ribs from above. With their attention clear and present, they can hold the kidney between their two hands and this can be a nice way to practice.
Another way is for you to lie on your side, if that is comfortable, and the other person can place both their hands on both kidneys at the same time.
Another option is to lay on your front (head facing down) and the person can place their hands on the kidneys from the top.
All are good options, just whatever feels more comfortable for you and your partner. And remember, the energy is guided by attention, so if there attention is attuned and clear, the work works!

By yourself:
You can try to put your hands on the specific area..
Or you can lie on your back and
You can put a small pillow if that feels good. What can also work great is a small beanbag or a small soft juggling sack, because it is a similar size. What you can also do is put some sand or sugar in a small ziploc bag and adjust it to the size that gives you a reference point that you can feel but isn't too big or bulky.
With the Kidney/Adrenal work, awareness and attention is everything, so the actual tool isn't important as long as your intention is …
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