Post by ahhwhatisthis on Jan 5, 2023 3:39:48 GMT
Hi everyone. I’ve been dating this guy on and off for the last two years who I believe might have fearful avoidant tendencies. He is 42 andI am 30. During this time we have broken up multiple times often due to miscommunication or me getting upset at him that he would be distant at times.
After our first few dates, he had basically told me that he felt a very special connection and intense feelings towards me. However we seemed to get into conflict because of when we started having sex he would always try to without a condom and I would get angry as opposed to communicating with him calmly about my preferences. We stopped talking onetime because I basically went off on him about it.
Eventually, we got back together and I got him to wear one every time but I still didn’t trust him from the previous incidents and would at times distance myself/ make myself less available. I could tell that he was trying to lure me back in after that because he offered money for my artwork (a couple thousands) . I obviously didn’t feel comfortable with this and avoided talking about that until eventually I declined. I could tell he wouldn’t let it go for some reason tho. I ended up calling him out and basically putting him on blast about his intentions and at that point he basically shut down and was like “nvm” we stopped talking for like a month.
Now a month ago he tries to meet up with me again and I am in a vulnerable state (a family member just passed). We eventually meet up and I tell him what happened. One thing leads to the next and things get very heated. He says that he wants to “passionately make love” to me while starting in my eyes and he wants to put a baby in me. He says, “If it's meant to be, it's meant to be”
I honestly just feel nervous about the whole situation and am confused about my attraction to him.
After our first few dates, he had basically told me that he felt a very special connection and intense feelings towards me. However we seemed to get into conflict because of when we started having sex he would always try to without a condom and I would get angry as opposed to communicating with him calmly about my preferences. We stopped talking onetime because I basically went off on him about it.
Eventually, we got back together and I got him to wear one every time but I still didn’t trust him from the previous incidents and would at times distance myself/ make myself less available. I could tell that he was trying to lure me back in after that because he offered money for my artwork (a couple thousands) . I obviously didn’t feel comfortable with this and avoided talking about that until eventually I declined. I could tell he wouldn’t let it go for some reason tho. I ended up calling him out and basically putting him on blast about his intentions and at that point he basically shut down and was like “nvm” we stopped talking for like a month.
Now a month ago he tries to meet up with me again and I am in a vulnerable state (a family member just passed). We eventually meet up and I tell him what happened. One thing leads to the next and things get very heated. He says that he wants to “passionately make love” to me while starting in my eyes and he wants to put a baby in me. He says, “If it's meant to be, it's meant to be”
I honestly just feel nervous about the whole situation and am confused about my attraction to him.
