Post by suzanneb on Dec 8, 2023 4:28:39 GMT
I've been with my boyfriend (ex?) for almost 8 years. 7 years ago, we moved states, a fact that his parents have never been crazy about. For the most part, we have had a really great relationship, been best friends, have most everything in common, and enjoy life together. The problem is, a couple times a year he really withdraws, says he's leaving and takes off to our home state to live with his parents. He will usually block me on everything but email, but after a week or so, we begin emailing, and he comes back home to me. I have only recently learned about attachment styles and it's been eye opening. He is definitely avoidant, and I believe leans toward dismissive avoidant.
A little over a month ago, he abruptly said "I'm leaving, my parents are coming to get me" (he's 37 by the way), and packed his things and left for a hotel, ostensibly for his parents to come get him. Predictably, he blocked me on everything but email and I have sent him countless emails since and he has not responded to anything at all.
Most of the emails have been concerning the matter that complicates this, which is my fathers estate, for which he is the trustee.This is a legal issue that I believe deserves an answer, even if he didn't want to answer me as his girlfriend. I named him because the former trustee is deceased, we live together and I have (had) the utmost trust in him to administer the estate properly. When he left, he was in the middle of multiple estate duties and has been ignoring not only me, but everyone involved in the estate, from banks and financial institutions, to real estate professionals, case managers and attorneys. He simply does not answer the phone, voicemail, texts or email.
I have asked countless times whether he intends to come back or not, and he does not answer either way. A trustee has to resign properly or it is not valid, and I do not understand why he refuses to do this.
I've spoken to attorneys and gotten astronomical quotes for retainers to sue him for breach of fiduciary duties, and I do not want to do that. I just want to know what he intends to do, but he is just stonewalling me. The attorneys have said he would have to resign in writing, and I have told him to do as much via email, but NOTHING.
Is this common with dismissive avoidants? Should I expect to never hear from him again? It's impossible to know how to move forward with both my life and the legal issue without any clarity whatsoever. Any advice is very much appreciated.
A little over a month ago, he abruptly said "I'm leaving, my parents are coming to get me" (he's 37 by the way), and packed his things and left for a hotel, ostensibly for his parents to come get him. Predictably, he blocked me on everything but email and I have sent him countless emails since and he has not responded to anything at all.
Most of the emails have been concerning the matter that complicates this, which is my fathers estate, for which he is the trustee.This is a legal issue that I believe deserves an answer, even if he didn't want to answer me as his girlfriend. I named him because the former trustee is deceased, we live together and I have (had) the utmost trust in him to administer the estate properly. When he left, he was in the middle of multiple estate duties and has been ignoring not only me, but everyone involved in the estate, from banks and financial institutions, to real estate professionals, case managers and attorneys. He simply does not answer the phone, voicemail, texts or email.
I have asked countless times whether he intends to come back or not, and he does not answer either way. A trustee has to resign properly or it is not valid, and I do not understand why he refuses to do this.
I've spoken to attorneys and gotten astronomical quotes for retainers to sue him for breach of fiduciary duties, and I do not want to do that. I just want to know what he intends to do, but he is just stonewalling me. The attorneys have said he would have to resign in writing, and I have told him to do as much via email, but NOTHING.
Is this common with dismissive avoidants? Should I expect to never hear from him again? It's impossible to know how to move forward with both my life and the legal issue without any clarity whatsoever. Any advice is very much appreciated.