Post by eq2024 on Mar 2, 2024 1:44:20 GMT
I am glad I found this forum because I was going a bit crazy.
I have been experiencing a mild case of limerence towards my female friend. We're both married females with children. We met at work but live in different parts of the country however we met a couple of times.
My friendship with her was not founded on limerence, it developed later as our friendship progressed. I guess, when I first met her, I was already very enthralled by her shiny personality, her wit and intelligence, but didn't know that my limerence was beginning to form back then. We would exchange messages a lot which became a lot deeper than LOLs and memes.
Fast forward several months since we met, we would call and text each other almost daily. She would confide in me and I would carry her through some difficult moments of her life. We needed each other for different reasons. One day I realized how much more like her, more than a regular friend. Now, I've have had very close friendships with women but not in this degree of intimacy in terms of exchanges of sweet nothings, glances, sighs and touches.
I was 100% convinced that she was into me because of the choice of words she used in her messages. It scared me in the context of our current situation with committed partners.
I was not obsessing over her daily and was functioning well, very successful at work, but I would think of her every day. My heart would beat faster if I'd see a text or call from her. Like that. I would imagine giving her a kiss, but I never wanted sex with her. It wasn't going that far. So, I really don't know what to call it.
I decided it was time to put a stop to it because I wanted our friendship to continue if we can be honest with each other. I have one of the biggest regrets about this - is that I did not see a therapist first to help me navigate through my emotions and conversations with my friend. When I confessed to my friend about my feelings she kind of agreed she liked what I was doing but at the same time was not committing to it 100%, being vague. When I pressed her to tell me exactly what that means she finally said nothing would ever happen between us and that she is not into me.
I went to therapy and my therapist said it was not limerence but an underlying cause that has to do with my relationship with my mother.
I regretted that I did not talk to my therapist first BEFORE I blurted out anything to my LO. There is nothing good that came out of it if you don't know how to handle it while emotionally charged. The intent here is not to deceive but to be wise in how to approach this issue in most sensible way.
I also found, no contact with LO doesn't really help. In my case, we decided to take a deep breath and still be friends. It is possible. You'll have to make a conscious effort to channel your energy into work, hobbies and let your LO drive this friendship after you established boundaries. Also, in my case my LO while she said she is taking a step to keep her distance for a while, to heal and deal with her signals, she texted me the next day and then a few days later again. It actually made things better for me because I was very depressed after my last phone conversation with her. So I was left a bit confused about what kind of 'distance' this really is.
So, I'm a woman who has a female LO. I've never been in a relationship with a woman nor do I want it. I am not attracted to women, it was just her. One time.
Go figure. Who can relate?
I have been experiencing a mild case of limerence towards my female friend. We're both married females with children. We met at work but live in different parts of the country however we met a couple of times.
My friendship with her was not founded on limerence, it developed later as our friendship progressed. I guess, when I first met her, I was already very enthralled by her shiny personality, her wit and intelligence, but didn't know that my limerence was beginning to form back then. We would exchange messages a lot which became a lot deeper than LOLs and memes.
Fast forward several months since we met, we would call and text each other almost daily. She would confide in me and I would carry her through some difficult moments of her life. We needed each other for different reasons. One day I realized how much more like her, more than a regular friend. Now, I've have had very close friendships with women but not in this degree of intimacy in terms of exchanges of sweet nothings, glances, sighs and touches.
I was 100% convinced that she was into me because of the choice of words she used in her messages. It scared me in the context of our current situation with committed partners.
I was not obsessing over her daily and was functioning well, very successful at work, but I would think of her every day. My heart would beat faster if I'd see a text or call from her. Like that. I would imagine giving her a kiss, but I never wanted sex with her. It wasn't going that far. So, I really don't know what to call it.
I decided it was time to put a stop to it because I wanted our friendship to continue if we can be honest with each other. I have one of the biggest regrets about this - is that I did not see a therapist first to help me navigate through my emotions and conversations with my friend. When I confessed to my friend about my feelings she kind of agreed she liked what I was doing but at the same time was not committing to it 100%, being vague. When I pressed her to tell me exactly what that means she finally said nothing would ever happen between us and that she is not into me.
I went to therapy and my therapist said it was not limerence but an underlying cause that has to do with my relationship with my mother.
I regretted that I did not talk to my therapist first BEFORE I blurted out anything to my LO. There is nothing good that came out of it if you don't know how to handle it while emotionally charged. The intent here is not to deceive but to be wise in how to approach this issue in most sensible way.
I also found, no contact with LO doesn't really help. In my case, we decided to take a deep breath and still be friends. It is possible. You'll have to make a conscious effort to channel your energy into work, hobbies and let your LO drive this friendship after you established boundaries. Also, in my case my LO while she said she is taking a step to keep her distance for a while, to heal and deal with her signals, she texted me the next day and then a few days later again. It actually made things better for me because I was very depressed after my last phone conversation with her. So I was left a bit confused about what kind of 'distance' this really is.
So, I'm a woman who has a female LO. I've never been in a relationship with a woman nor do I want it. I am not attracted to women, it was just her. One time.
Go figure. Who can relate?