Things turned nasty…. | Jeb Kinnison Attachment Type Forum

emreyn
New Member

Posts: 40

Things turned nasty…. Jun 12, 2024 17:43:34 GMT via mobile

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Post by emreyn on Jun 12, 2024 17:43:34 GMT

Some of you will know the story of my turbulent on and off relationship with my fa ex.
Things are turning nasty now that I have upheld my boundaries, he quite obviously wants to be friends, I think more so to save face and look good at work (as we work together). And I have said absolutely no way! I think it’s dangerous for us to be friends so soon after he broke up with me again in such an unkind way. We have a child together so I’m doing all the right things in that respect, ensuring communication about or son and facilitating as much contact as I can. But I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to say I don’t want him in my life as a friend?
Is this normal? Is it just reactionary or is it not typical of fa’s? He’s talking about solicitors to try and get me out of our home etc.

alexandra
Platinum Member

Posts: 3,004

Things turned nasty…. Jun 12, 2024 18:22:13 GMT via mobile

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Post by alexandra on Jun 12, 2024 18:22:13 GMT

Did you get a lawyer, per the advice in your last thread?

It's not uncommon for FA to not want to close doors and prefer to have some sort of downgraded and uncommitted but still present as a "friend" type of relationship, as to lose that removes getting validation from you. However, also in your last thread, it seemed very likely your ex has multiple mental health issues in addition to FA, so asking if he's getting nasty and continuing to be abusive because he's FA isn't really the heart of the issue. I think this is more evidence he has something like a cluster B personality disorder, and then yes, you may bear the brunt of vengeful behavior. Talk to a lawyer immediately if you haven't already.

emreyn
New Member

Posts: 40

Things turned nasty…. Jun 12, 2024 18:33:12 GMT via mobile

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Post by emreyn on Jun 12, 2024 18:33:12 GMT

I have spoken to a lawyer yes, I got some advice, but as I’m the one in the vulnerable position financially and housing wise, I have been advised to wait until he makes his first move. So I’m ready to go once he does.
I’m more worried about hurtful and spiteful that I can’t really use a lawyer to stop. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens next. I’ve never seen him so visibly angry with me, and actually all I did was tell him that he I preferred no contact and I thought a basic co parenting relationship would be better for us both. The reaction seemed disproportionate to the conversation. Maybe it was embarrassment because he has initiated about 8 small conversations today at work which I keep light, but the last time I said that I wasn’t comfortable. Now he wants money that was meant for home improvements and wants me gone.

Time will tell I guess