Still reeling.. update, onwards and upwards.

I posted on forum a few days ago about FAEx who had discarded me, left me in town 25 miles away and went to stonewall. Alexandra and anne12 gave me advice. Thankyou.Here’s my positive update.
Firstly I see him definitely now as an ex. He fed me(in the moment) for almost a year what I wanted to hear. I believed it as a secure who latterly went a shade AP. No well person feeds you that level of commited, future promises then dumps you by physically leaving you then weak texts about being unable to stop hurting women etc etc, how lovely you are but they’re off etc. It’s unconscionable garbage. I trust myself
Secondly he left stuff in abeyance. We’d paid a deposit on a holiday in two months, he was sending me three weeks ago vids of the place, how he wanted me to rest and be stress free( I had cared (also working in my job)for elderly parents . My son just got all clear of cancer a month ago? Not much support, in fact jealous reaction of my care of my boy?His behaviour sucks.
He also left in abeyance my water boiler!! Who knew I’d be grateful to a water tank. When he deactivated he had arranged to have my water tank overhauled. Offered to do it as he had contacts.. I was paying.Yesterday repair guy phoned me, Ex hadn’t been in touch, he’d abdicated. I confirmed still needed repair.. actioned it on my own. It proved to me when they deactivate, there is no loyalty, empathy or follow through of any agreements. They cannot act adult, sort things through, confirm what’s happening. This was a hassle but it defined him for me.
Re the water tank the repair guy contacted him and I received a bland WhatsApp from him.. ‘ hope all ok, I’m away at moment.. take care’ ?? I thought ok.. what do I need at this moment to do for myself. I phoned my son and a friend. Good feedback.
Our relationship was not real. It was felt in the moment by him and taken as real by me as a securely attached. That needs to be said to everyone on this forum, particularly AP’s.. don’t bargain. Wean yourself off. They can’t follow through once the deactivation sets in on the promises made. It’s emotional plummeting, practical hassle and you do doubt your own values for a time. I cannot engage in helping this person, I’m in midlife, he’s unaware and with no real signs he wants to change. Think of time wasted, think of other options, think of the depth of the illusion. Think of yourself.
It was a year of my time that I’ll never get back again. It was hope that was stifled on a whim. That’s not acceptable. Today I saw clearly that his behaviour was that of a Narc? There was no fallout from a years investment, he was ok and not much interested in me. He was casual.. disengaged. Such depth and then surface responses.. I’m not saying he’s a narcissist but how do you split their behavioural responses during this time. There is no invested memory of the relationship, no empathic compassion or looking for ways to fix or re-engage. No responsibility for awful behaviour. You are left with care of yourself.. that’s a relief, all told.