Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2024 4:07:00 GMT
I could have put this in the general section but I didn't because I used to be DA,maybe still am a little big bit in some ways...
I came across an article about stereotypes concerning women and motorcycles.
www.streetrider.ca/site/blog/2021/02/24/female-motorcycle-riders-stereotypes-vs-reality
It mentions that women who ride report better communication with their partners! Interesting. I agree! Learning to ride this summer and being on my own bike has helped me be more assertive with my emotional autonomy (don't think a DA needs that? Sure do in the context of intimacy, sure do especially with a dominant personality type as partner).
I have historically had a lot of survival fear. Like, body safety. I'm HSP so that's a big piece. I find risk and adrenaline abhorrent. I avoid it. So why the bike? Because I trust myself more as a rider than trusting as passenger, because I am confident in my ability to develop the skills, and I generally prefer independence than relying on a partner to keep me safe, still. I just couldn't give myself over to being a passenger although that would have been lovely. I know lots of couples have a special bond that way, and I like that as an idea. But. It's not for me.
So anyway... any riders here? If so, how/what do you ride? I'm a laid back cruiser grandma lol. I like mellow, low traffic, prefer rural if possible. Just me and the road is best, although I feel bonded with him when we ride (our own bikes!)
No thrills, no stunts of course, just enough appropriate speed, just relaxing cruising. I am kind if interested in how our nervous systems contribute to our choice of leisure activities. Once again, I am I'm a lane by myself with a solo activity or a parallel activity, and I just don't think I will ever be otherwise. But...it has created a special bond and I feel it's elevating my wellbeing, to conquer a fear by engaging it with training and practice. I distinctly remember being without fear when younger, but I think trauma work actually woke up self protection type fear in me. And menopause def increased anxiety, not as much at the moment but from time to time it's on my back. I used to become more anxious in attachment but I've reverted to more avoidant again when I feel ill at ease. It's hard to tell if it's him, me, or (duh) our dynamic that makes it so...
I ramble. My relationship is going better than ever for both of us, without cohabitation and with more intentional, quality time. His neurodivergence contributes to that, the adhd is hard for me to live closely with unless and until he conquers some habits (not necessary for me to be happy tho). I don't ask or expect it because he's happy, and I like him being free to be himself. When it does rub me wrong, independence is my sanctuary but I feel it's improved our intimacy rather than harmed it.
So back to the bike thing, yeah I have grown in myself and in my romantic relationship with it.
Anyone?
I came across an article about stereotypes concerning women and motorcycles.
www.streetrider.ca/site/blog/2021/02/24/female-motorcycle-riders-stereotypes-vs-reality
It mentions that women who ride report better communication with their partners! Interesting. I agree! Learning to ride this summer and being on my own bike has helped me be more assertive with my emotional autonomy (don't think a DA needs that? Sure do in the context of intimacy, sure do especially with a dominant personality type as partner).
I have historically had a lot of survival fear. Like, body safety. I'm HSP so that's a big piece. I find risk and adrenaline abhorrent. I avoid it. So why the bike? Because I trust myself more as a rider than trusting as passenger, because I am confident in my ability to develop the skills, and I generally prefer independence than relying on a partner to keep me safe, still. I just couldn't give myself over to being a passenger although that would have been lovely. I know lots of couples have a special bond that way, and I like that as an idea. But. It's not for me.
So anyway... any riders here? If so, how/what do you ride? I'm a laid back cruiser grandma lol. I like mellow, low traffic, prefer rural if possible. Just me and the road is best, although I feel bonded with him when we ride (our own bikes!)
No thrills, no stunts of course, just enough appropriate speed, just relaxing cruising. I am kind if interested in how our nervous systems contribute to our choice of leisure activities. Once again, I am I'm a lane by myself with a solo activity or a parallel activity, and I just don't think I will ever be otherwise. But...it has created a special bond and I feel it's elevating my wellbeing, to conquer a fear by engaging it with training and practice. I distinctly remember being without fear when younger, but I think trauma work actually woke up self protection type fear in me. And menopause def increased anxiety, not as much at the moment but from time to time it's on my back. I used to become more anxious in attachment but I've reverted to more avoidant again when I feel ill at ease. It's hard to tell if it's him, me, or (duh) our dynamic that makes it so...
I ramble. My relationship is going better than ever for both of us, without cohabitation and with more intentional, quality time. His neurodivergence contributes to that, the adhd is hard for me to live closely with unless and until he conquers some habits (not necessary for me to be happy tho). I don't ask or expect it because he's happy, and I like him being free to be himself. When it does rub me wrong, independence is my sanctuary but I feel it's improved our intimacy rather than harmed it.
So back to the bike thing, yeah I have grown in myself and in my romantic relationship with it.
Anyone?